Quote of the Day

Yayy, today is a happy day, well quite, considering how monotonous my life is. guess wad! there was this small cute girl todayy at the restaurant. she kept looking and smiling at me, so i kept looking back and smiling back at her! and when she was leaving with her family, i waved goodbye to her, and she went hiding behind her mother's back! haha so cutee! oh well, maybe she was afraid that i might kidnap her or something. anwyayy i hope she comes again! =D

anywayyyy....... that's not the main point/highlight of the day. after working for more than 2 months, i've been asked many questions or commented by many customers and none of the comments were as interesting as today's.

I was at the cashier, reading a customer's order sheet so that i can key into the cashier registry, but the order sheet was very messy and so i decided to confirm with him his order. However, i couldn't tell whether he was Japanese or Singaporean, so i decided to follow my instinct...

Me: eeto, mouichido chuumon wo kakunin itashimasuga, tonkatsu setto hitotsu to.... (by then, i realized that he looked confused, so he must be a Singaporean, so i changed to English)Oh, you ordered a tonkatsu set and a dinner set right?
Him: Yes. Hey you speak good english!
Me: Oh haha I'm Singaporean.
Him: Oh you speak good Japanese then!

Wow for the first time in my life, i was told that i speak good english! hahaha for all my life (at least in sec sch and jc), i've never gotten more than a C for my english! (with the exception of moderation, of course)

Show me the meaning of being lonely

You know you're lonely when...

1) You are about to sms someone, and find out that there's no one in your contact list whom you can sms.
2) You come online, and find out that out of the 85 ppl on the msn list, there are only less than 3 ppl to talk to.
3) You leave the class for breaks alone, and go for lessons when the rest of the class goes for break.
4) You choose a school, and finds out that all your other friends have gone to other schools together.
5) You come to a school, and finds out that everyone else have cliques.
6) Your good friends have other friends whom they are closer to.
7) You stay at home while all your other friends have gone to NS.
8) You meet up friends who have all gone through BMT, and they talk about stuff which you do not understand.
9) You continue with your NS when your friends have all completed theirs.
10) You realize that your dreams may all be gone just because of a silly decision made.
11) You are poor at making friends and do not mix well with others.
12) You are about to enlist into NS with a bunch of people you do not know.
13) You wake up to find out that the rest of the family is out, and that you are alone.
14) You do not know what to do for the rest of the day, and wastes it stoning all the day long.
15) You ask friends to go out, and get rejected because they have dates.
16) You want to go out, but realize there's no one to ask, so you end up going out alone, or staying at home to stone.
17) You find out that people whom you thought were your good friends, do not really see you as their good friends.
18) You always choose a different path from your friends, and end up separated from them.
19) You end up talking to yourself because there's really no one to talk to.
20) You write a blog entry like this.

second day!

yoohoo today's the second day! it was kinda disappointing in terms of hongbao collection cuz when we went to my mother's cousin's house todayy, there were only a few ppl! unlike every other year, where there will be many many many ppl. so that explains our grand collection of SIX hongbaos (shared among me and my brothers) todayy.. in other words, a pathetic TWO hongbaos per person todayy! how sad! anywayy photos again!


This was taken at my mother's cousin's place! sunflowers! hahaha so cool.


Same place, but at the swing. Refer to the previous entryy. It's the same swing! Haha we intend to take similar photos every year in the same positions (ie our sitting positions)


Haha i like this photo! we took this cuz my brother wanted a photo with white blackground so that he can edit it using photoshop.

Yup that's all folks! Jonfang! tell us abt ur hongbao collection adventures!

my hundredth entry!!

FIRST DAY! the song sung by FIR, STephanie sun, and mayDAY. nice song (:

anyway that's not the point. it's chu yi! well, like every other year, a million ppl came to my house today. haha plus a few naughty nephews who cannot control but havoc at my place. haha we are used to it anywayy. hmm let me see, FIVE nephews and ONE niece! haha two of my nephews are around my age, so i don't really see them as my nephews but "cousins" instead. den the other three terrors and one princess! anywayy as usual, we were playing cards while getting our cards stepped on. den when my two brothers went to take a nap, i had to deal with the two terrors who ransacked my room, threw toys n books around, and ran all over me. omg.. wad a terror. haha luCKily there was my little princess. (she's called jovin btw).
and that's her! =)

hehh for your information, my father is the best! he spends SO MUCH effort in making decorations, cooking and doing all the housework with my mother every year, in fact every week. haha so for example, this year, which is the dog year, he made a dog out of magazine pages!last year, the chicken year, he made a chicken! and the best was the dragon year, he actually spent a few nights making a dragon!! too bad we didn't take a photo of it then. =(

As a tradition, my brothers and i take photo every year during cny! hmmmm this MIGHT be the third last cny with my family before i go japan!
This was the year of the monkey! (there's a monkey face at the back!)

This was the year of the ROOSTER (oops not chicken), ie last year. can u see the rooster at the back! (if u're wondering, we are holding pens cuz my bro's an extreme pen-spinner!)

This was taken at my.... mother's cousin's place (wad do u call a mother's cousin???)

This is the year of the DOGGIE! (with sunglasses on!)

Another photo. (with caps on!)

chinese new year!

yayy chinese new year is finally here! hmmmmmm one thing i must say abt chinese new year this year is that it doesn't feel like it at all! firstly cuz the life during cny and my daily life now have no difference! hmmm i hope this year will be a good and SAFE year for mE~ esp after i enlist and become a soldier! oh and i realized one SAD FACT... initially, i thought that my classamate, hengliang and I are the only two losers in my class who are not enlisting in january. but just now, i was talking to him online, and i found out that he's already enlisted cuz he called up cmpb to request for earlier enlistment. so now, i'm the only loser from my class who hasn't enlisted. =( i'm going to stand out from my class when we go back to collect results. =(

anyway, i used to complain that i don't recieve sms-es wishing me happy new year or wadeva during festive seasons. but this year, i've recieved quite a few!, whcih is supposed to be a happy thing for me. however, i have recieved 3 sms-es from unknown numbers so far! omg, so weird... i wonder who are these people. i'm suspecting that these people were my friends last time. and then they dumped me. so i deleted their numbers, but now they are sending the template "happy chinese new year! blah blah" message to everyone on that contact list, so maybe that's why i recieved it too.

i went to eat my reunion dinner just now. and like every year, we go to my BIG aunt's house. yeahh she's really big in the sense that she's already a grandmother! and her grandsons (ie my nephews) are around my age! and like every year, the tv shows suck! there's no proper show to watch! there was the superstar concert which my brothers and i wanted to watch, but the rest of the ppl were watching this funny but meaningless chiense show on channel 8, so we had no choice but to watch. hahaha the show is quite funny actually.

okie okie, there are finally decorations in my house. i can slowly feel the qi fen already! but there's still no one to talk to online! argh. so sad! and the audio device/driver/wadeva u call it isn't working. so i can't watch my dramas/shows. =(=(

sayuri

heheheheh so happyy. after so many weeks without any friends to go out with/ to talk to/ to sms (other than to work and for chingay), i finally went out with my friends! so happyy! i was quite worried that all my frens in the ns will be to busy/tired to go out together and we'll soon lose contact, or before we could finalize a date to go out, ns will be over and i'll be leaving.

although there were only three of us today (cuz the rest are in BMTC School 2 who will be booking out only tomorrow), it was still a nice gathering. =) i was so desperate to go out with them! hehehe... anyway we met each other for the first time since we last went out (which was the last time i went out), which was... 28th dec! hehe yanhan n junhan are both botak now! so cool i wan to be like them soon! and i heard many many stories abt ns from them. (anyway, digressing a bit, daniel poh is in the hospital cuz he was feeling unwell =(....) hehe yanhan is in tekong (same as me) while junhan is in commando. and both of them had different stories to tell. firstly, junhan's palm was full of blisters! omg, it was quite scary honestly. cuz they did the soc (standard obstacle course) today and they had to keep doing until they could complete it. and junhan was stuck at the monkey swing where he did so many times that his hands bled. sad casee. sigh! anyway, then they were telling me how they could do 5 pull ups at first. but after all the vigorous n monstrous trainings they had, the number of pull ups they could do reduced to zero. yeah which wasn't surprising, considering how they have no time to recover and all that. anyway NS stories are told and retold, so it isn't that interesting after some time. i have to experience it myself! (argh honestly i don't want to)... haha and according to yanhan, "u look forward to booking out everytime u book in." haha so NS is all about booking out!

ps. jonfang, have fun in ndu! tell us stories when u come out! hahaha
pps. can someone tell me the meaning of "ps" and "pps"?

anyway we went for steamboat! (in a long long time) hehe we used to go steamboat together! ahh all the good old times. hmmm and the two NS men kept talking abt NS and left me alone. =( but never mind! it's kindof like a preview for me before i enter! hehe and commandos are going for airborne tests where they have to jump off the planes!! so exciting! haha but a no-thanks for me cuz i'm afraid of heights. =S ohhhh and there were fireworks!

hmm and one thing we observed today is that most ppl who were at marina south were jc studnets! most of them were having OG outings! (all good old times!)and the two NSmen were envious of the lives they had before entering the army. haha. i would be, too. and then junhan was telling us, cuz he shares his bunk with 5 other ppl, and all the other five ppl have girlfriends! hahaha so every night during "Admin time" (wad a weird name), the other five ppl will be sms-ing/calling their girlfriends! hahaha i foresee myself doing that too! therefore i shouldn't bring my handphone in, it's kinda risky, cuz from scouts, i've learnt that the less things u bring in, the less trouble u're likely to cause for yourself. anyway i'll have no one to call/sms! haha maybe my family.

so anyway, argh kept getting distracted by the ns stories i heard, after steamboat, we went to watch "sayuri" (aka memoirs of a geisha) at lido! hmmm oh well, my comments abt the movie: it was GOOD! really, i liked it. maybe cuz it's about japanese culture, and i was very interested in it. haha not geishas, but the holistic idea of the geisha culture. BUT, some things i have to say about the movie. FIRSTLY, why did they speak in ENGLISH????? it made the whole story seem so fake. cuz the small kids can't possibly speak such fluent english, especially when the story took place so long ago. SECONDLY, it makes it seem so weird cuz they speak english and A LITTLE BIT of japanese. like "moshi moshi.... oh blah blah blah (in english)" or "gomen kudasai... okaasan, please blah blah blah (in english)" SO WEIRD!

but anyway, now that i've watched the movie, i know the story! so now i can read my "sayuri" novel with greater ease (although it's still v hard to understand the language they use) yay it's chinese new year eve!

"Geishas do not become geishas to pursue their destinies. They become because they have no choice."

wrong number!

bah i'm bored bored bored!!! anyway this is the second consecutive entry in a row today! haha it's going to be about a funny incident tt took place last night at my cousin's house!
Question: You recieve an sms from an unknown number, asking you funny questions. Obviously, you don't know the person and it's very likely that someone has sent the message to you by mistake. At this point in time, what would you do?

a) Ignore the message.
b) Reply the message, telling the person that he/she has gotten the wrong number.
c) Reply the message, and scold the person.
d) Reply the question in the message.

If one is not mentally insane, he/she would probably choose option a) or b). Me, being a sane person, would normally do the action as suggested in option a. However, last night, after being tormented by boredom, i decided to be cheeky and chose option d.

In a normal scenario, the person who has messaged you by mistake would probably realize it after a while. This is so because the person has most probably i)keyed in the wrong number by mistake, or ii)sent to the wrong person in his/her phonebook in the handphone.

Interestingly, the person who messaged me last night seemed to have thought that my number is his/her friend's number. This is evident in her subsequent replies as i corresponded with him/her. The conversation was as follows:

+659276****: what time do you normally reach sch in the morn?
Me: 7am.
+659276****: Really? dun bluff. wad time do u leave hse?
Me: Around 630.
+659276****: let's meet at the same place tmr with naz and faz. n go crazy like today! Woohoo!
Me: yea! crazy like jus now! let's go clubbing!
+659276****: so hepi ar. u haf to meet with naz, walk with her, joke with her... (followed by a series of text full of acronyms which i couldn't understand)
Me: ok set. play kite. how abt david? ........... (i then entered a series of text that makes no sense.)
+659276****: what on earth are u saying? (in reply to my nonsensical text)
Me: (after feeling bored frm this senseless correspondence) i tink u got the wrong number.
+659276****: huh wad do u mean? (obviously she still thinks that she's got the right no.)
Me: Sorry, but who are you?

And our interesting conversation ended there. HAHAHA... so funnyyy!!! my cousin and i were laughing so hard! hahaha...

change

yo everyone (ie no one), i'm starting a new blog with jonfang at younothingme.blogspot.com so come visit us! don't worry, this blog still exists. maybe i'll use this blog when i feel like typing in japanese, and i'll use the other when i'm going to type in english. yup yup.

survey

01. Time you started: 7:33am

03. Nicknames: Depyon... haishya? (given by myself haha)
04. Height: (176 plus minus 1) cm....
08. Sex: never Male
09. Birthday: 7th june (no one remembers it anw =[)
10. Zodiac Sign: gemini
11. Location: Singapore (body), Japan (heart)
12. Birth Place: Singapore (can't remember the hospital name)
13. Hair Color: black
14. Eye Color: black

*The CRUSH Side*
15. Girlfriend/Boyfriend?: ?? what is this question asking? i dun have either.

*The PAST Side*
16. What age would you go back to?: i wish i could go to age 21 or something, where i'm in japan. sigh.
18. Memory you miss most: hmm till now, sec2/3 immersion programmes, j1 immersion programme. times i spent with the nihonjins, 2-7 ppl.
20. Memory you would like to forget: the sad times in sec1,2 (of cuz there were much more happy times then)
22. What'd you do yesterday: for a moment i can't recall... hmm oh yes, i visited the japan embassy.
24. Last person you talked to on the phone: erm my mother?
25. Last thing you said: konayuki
27. Last song you listened to: konayuki

*The FAVORITE Side*
28. Food: japanese food
29. Drink: soya bean, green tea, water, etcetera
30. CD: my dear dramas
31. Emotion: spiritually dead. looking forward to chingay prac later tho..
32. Color: no fav colour
33. Day Of The Week: sigh, when there was still school, i used to look forward to wed, thurs and fri(for weekdays) cuz those were the short or/and days with japanese lessons.
34. Month: June. all my happy memories happened then.
35. Season: probably winter, but it doens't make a difference if i'm still here.
36. Holiday: school holidays i suppose, but i'm no longer a student. >.<
37. Cookie: i dun like such stuff, i'll get sorethroat easily.
39. Ice Cream: -same as above-
40. Candy Bar: -same as above-
41. TV Channel: fuji tv
42. Shampoo/Conditioner: no fav, but i'm using palmolive at the moment.
43. Song: all the japanese songs i have and i don't have. =)

*PEOPLE YOU KNOW Side*
44. Friends: i don't have many now. =(=( so i can't answer the next few questions.
48. Loudest: N/A
47. Silliest: N/A
49. Best at keeping secrets: N/A
50. Most likely to be a stripper: N/A
51. Sweetest: N/A
52. Weirdest: N/A
53. Most hyper: N/A
54. Most annoying: N/A

*The BELIEVE OR NOT Side*
55. Aliens: nopeee...
56. Heaven and Hell: nopeee...
57. God: nope
58. Yourself: yeah, that's the only person i can believe in..

*The HAVE YOU EVER Side*
59. Been on a plane: yup!! (japan!!!)
60. Cried in public: hmmm... secretly, maybe yes. u noe, those kind where no one else notices.
61. Climbed a tree: yup, during scouts activities.
62. Ate A Worm: yuCK, no.
63. Kissed a guy/girl: no.
64. Met a celebrity: yup.. not many compared to my other friends though.
65. Met the president: yeah, during rally day (scouts) and i shook hands with him in sec3 (or was sec2?) during president's challenge!
66. Been scared to get a shot: yeah
67. Watched New Years Eve celebrations in every time zone in one day?: i wish i could do that in the GMT+7:00 hours (ie japan time zone!)
68. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: wad's that.
69. Gone skinny dipping: nope. i dun even go swimming tt often.
70. Skipped school: never. (no blue/pink/white slips!) oh i've ponned one math lecture in j1 before, but that's all.

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR*
71. Bill Clinton: the joke two entries ago! (haha!)
72. Lollipops: sucking.
73. Dreams: mostly sad ones.. =(
74. Love: sadness
75. Whipped Cream: macha parfait at bongout
76. South Park: vulgarities.
77. Christina Aguilera: -nothing- i don't really know western celebrities. trying asking japanese ones.
78. Guys: myself
79. Girls: no one
80. Death: scared

*The WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER Side*
81. Dog/Cat: either.. neither
82. Blue/Purple: blue
83. Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate.
84. Pen/Pencil: pen.. ahh which reminds me of the pencil i got from my host's classmate in sapporo, it's still in my pencil box which i haven't touched since alevels!

*The QUESTIONS THAT DON'T MATTER, BUT I'M STILL ASKING Side*
85. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: no. i sleep alone with my pillow n bolster.
86. When is the last time you showered: yesterday..
87. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: i don't wan to be a crayon >.<
88. How many buddies do you have on your buddie list?: nil
89. Do you like this survey: yes, especially when i'm bored n lonely like i'm always.
90. One pillow or two, cotton or feather?: one big one small. cotton.
91. How long are you in the shower: five minutes.
92. How do you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup: wad's that.
93. What does your name mean?: god of wine.
94. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop: wad's that again.
95. What occurs once in a second, twice in one hour, and never in three hundred years?: hmm good question, let me think about it.
96. Finished: 7.58am


1. Spell your name backwards: sinned (that's wad i am)
2. Where do you live?: singapore japan!!(in a few years time)
3. Describe yourself in 4 words: sad lonely kanashikute sabishii
4. Who is your worst enemy?: myself, really.
5. If you could have any animal, what would it be?: still human.
6. What is the latest you've ever stayed up: dunno? 6am?
7. Ever been to Belgium?: nope. japan yes!!
8. What's your favorite coin?: japanese yen coins.

DESCRIBE YOUR
9. Wallet: i love my wallet.
10. Brush: N/A
11. Toothbrush: greeeen!
12. Jewelry worn daily: none, my contacts/spectacles?
13. Pillow cover: dunno, it changes every few weeks
14. Blanket: BIG, it's really big. it can cover my whole body.
15. Coffee cup: which is my cup.
16. sunglasses: uber cool. but it's actually my brother's.
17. Underwear: i have quite a few. which one you want me to describe?
18. Shoes: shared with my brothers.
19. handbag: dun have.
20. Favorite top: asahi! but it's a bit too small.
21. Favorite pants: jeans tt i always wear.
22. Cologne/Perfume: not using.
23. CD in stereo right now: no cd right now.
24. Tattoos: nil
25. Piercings: nil ( i'm a guai kia)
26. Wearing: white t-shirt plus blue shorts.
27. Hair: short (duh what other descriptions are there for a guy's hair) straight?.. oh but my hair's growing longer! =)
28. Makeup: nope.

WHAT/WHO (is/are)
29. In my mouth: my tongue and teeth, saliva?
30. In my head: this survey. i'm concentrating ok.
31. Wishing: GO JAPAN!!! =(=(
32. After this: i'll do something else. not decided yet. maybe watch dramas.
33. Talking to: sigh no one. the last person i spoke to was my brother which was last night. long time ago.
34. Eating: nothing, oh yah, maybe i'll go eat breakfast after this.
35. Do you like candles: ... for birthday? yes
36. Do you like hot wax: no. for wad?
37. Do you like incense: no. it makes my cry.
38. Do you like the taste of blood: never really tasted, but my impression is that blood is bitter, so i don't like. who likes bitter stuff?
40. If you could murder anyone and get away with it: i don't even know enough ppl for me to think of someone for me to murder.
41. Person you wish you could be with right now: all the japanese around me. (ie be in japan!!)
42. What/Who is next to you: no one, never.
43. What do you want done with your body when you die: cremated of course.
44. Do you believe in love: yah, but i'm starting to lose faith.
45. Do you believe in soul mates: not really, cuz i don't know what's that.
46. Do you believe in love at first sight: dunno?
47. Do you believe in Heaven: no.
48. Do you believe in forgiveness: yes. forgive me!!
49. Do you believe in God: no.
50. What's something that you wish people would understand: nothing really.
51. What's something you wish you could understand better: why am i so sad. why can't i go japan now.
52. What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow: that i'll wake up in japan.

テルテル坊主

今日は久しぶりに晴れだったな・・なんか気持ちいい。けど、今日はさほどいい日じゃなかった。この前、在シンガポール大使館のStudy Councellorとメールをやり取りしたので、今日あそこへ参りますと言ったということで、朝１１時ごろ大使館に着いた。初めてですが、ちょっとびっくりしました。大使館ってったら、大したもんだから、少なくともビルが大きいって思い浮かべるけれど、案外小さかった。

とにかく、大使館に入った。そして、Japan information and cultural centreっていう名の部屋みたいな場所に入ると、背後だけ見えたけど、一人の女性が座っていて雑誌を読んでいる姿を見た。そして、迷っていたら、その女性が立ち上がって、ぺらぺらに英語で尋ねた。「Looking for the councellor?]って。そして、はいと答えて、また「That's me.]って返事された。その人だって知らなかったので、少しびっくりした。

色々質問して、そして、情報もたくさんいただいた。それから残酷な現実に気づいた。奨学金のことだぁ！ほんとに困るんだなあ・・PSC奨学金はもはや無理だから、EJUを受けて、自分で行く他ならないんだ。本当にしんどいんだなあ・・お金の問題だなあ・・しかも、その一年目にすばらしい成績をとらなきゃ、奨学金がもらえないなんて、信じたくない現実だなあ。まあ、とにかく、頑張らなきゃ・・

Singaporean jokes

Stupid Driver

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one “Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid… you don’t believe?
Let me show you.” and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said “Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes.” to which Ah Beng replied, “Yes Sir! right away!” and rushed off to the showroom.
The rich man turned to his friend and said, “See, I told you he was stupid.” The other rich man said, “That’s nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid.” and he called his driver, Ali. “Ali, go home now and check to see if I’m at home.” to which Ali said, “Yes Sir, right away Sir.” and ran home. “See what I told you? He doesn’t even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here.”
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, “Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and ask me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes….. Doesn’t he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!”Ali replied, “You think he is stupid ah? My boss lagi worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home…. He got hand phone what, can just call up to check lah!!!!”

Two Men & A Lady

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.
Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- They both had the lady TOGETHER.
Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.
Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.- The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.
Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.
Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.
Two Malaysian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The lady ACCUSED the first man of sodomizing the other because she was rejected by both.
Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.

The Cabinet

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet.
On hearing Mahathirs woes, PM Goh said, “Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet.” Mahathir asked, “Yes, but how do you know that they are able?”
PM Goh replied, “Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence, don’t need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.” Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him, “Hey Tony, come over here.” Tony obediently walked briskly over.
PM Goh asked, “Tell me, Tony, who is your fathers son ?” Tony Tan immediately replied, “Me! Of course.”
PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said, “See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don’t you go back and try.” Mahathir thank PM Goh and left.
Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his deputy, and shot the question at him, “Tell me, Anwar, who is your father’s son ?” Anwar was shocked beyond words and did not know the answer. After a while, he recovered and said, “Boss, let me find out and I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Mahathir, a bit disappointed, agreed, hoping that Anwar will give a good answer tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Anwar was panicking that his boss was testing him. He tried desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but none of them knew the answer. The next morning,he decided to call Bill Clinton for help. Surely the most powerful person in the world must know the answer.
When Bill picked up the phone, Anwar said, “Hello, Bill, can I ask you a question?” Clinton, very busy, replied, “Alright, but it better be good !” Anwar quickly asked, “Tell me, Bill, who is your father’s son ?” Clinton was fuming, “Of course it’s me, you stupid !” and he slammed the phone down.
Satisfied that he’s got the answer, he confidently walked into Mahathir’s office and said, “Boss, I’ve got the answer to your question.” Mahathir, happy that his deputy wasn’t that dumb, said, “So tell me quick, who is your fathers son, Anwar ?”
Anwar confidently replied, “It’s BILL CLINTON !”
Mahathir slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, “No you stupid, it’s TONY TAN !”


Technical Support

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
DESPERATE

***

Reply:
Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 and the worms might cause the program to automatically upgrade itself to Husband 2.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
TECHNICAL SUPPORT

新学期ってか

一月二日。新学期の始まりのはずなのに、何で俺はここにいるんだ。もう十二年続いて、毎年毎年この日に学校に行くのに、今年は初めて学校行かなくていい。なんか変な感じがする。まあ、別に学校が恋しいか、懐かしいって言うわけでもないけど、ちょっと寂しいっすね。弟でさえ、明日学校へ行く。兄もそうだ。僕はごろごろする予定だ。ところで、思ったとおりだけど、友達は誰一人残されてなかった。皆どっかへ行っちゃった。

やあ、今はまってる歌がある。そうだよ。川嶋あいの「明日への扉」です。素敵な曲だなあ。僕の明日への扉を開いてくれる人いないかな。