artyy

15 weeks have passed since i entered ocs, 6 months have passed since i entered army. I've been through so much for the past 6 months, notably the past 15 weeks. I must say I've grown up a great deal since then. Looking back at myself 6 months ago, and staring into the mirror now, how much have i changed? Physically n mentally, I've become stronger. In terms of mindsets, I've matured. I guess this is what army does to people. Of course, I have learnt many lessons of life too. I've learnt to see my strenghts, and more importantly, my weaknesses. In school, it is always easy to display one's strengths in front of others, and hide our own weaknesses. It is easier to live through our strengths without revealing other weak spots. However, as we grow up, as we enter the real world, our weaknesses can no longer be hidden. We can no longer decieve ourselves by just showing our stronger self. Our life is continuous, full of ups and downs, and during these downs, we have no choice but to live through it. No matter how other people look at us during these downs, we have to stand up again and continue our journey.

This is what army taught me. Unlike what people see me in school, or in general, before i enter the army, I am actually not as perfect or good as what many percieve. In our school days, we can always act through the short spans of our "lives" in class, and revert to our trueselves after that. In reality, our actings will be exposed because people constantly look at us day in day out. In the army, our buddies stay with us five or six days a week, they incessantly look at our actions. Be it during training, after training, during meals, during rest times or when we go to sleep, our buddies behave like judges who scrutinize on our behaviours. There is no way we can hide our true personalities and characters. That is why we are our truselves in the army. I must say I have seen most of my weaknesses, many of which I haven't known till I entered the army; and many of which I never wanted to reveal to others. But inevitably, people realize our shortcomings, and true friends are those who see beyond our shortcomings and accept them as part of us.

The 14 weeks in ocs have been enriching. I admit I haven't performed well, partly due to my attitude towards it. Perhaps it's not my style, perhaps it's not my type of battlefield. I need a battlefield which suits me, one that gives me the psychological edge over the rest, that allows me to excel. Perhaps arty is the place, maybe it's not. Irregardless of whether I perform or not, what i hope is to enjoy these days as an officer cadet, and in the end, commission successfully as a second lieutenant and enjoy my privelleges. After all, no matter what we become, we still go through the same two years, and there's always more to learn beyond the army. Our lives really begin after these two years of "introduction to the society", or i liek to call it "introduction to our true selves".