nani mo nai basho

ahh long time no update. it's been a tiring week. x_X... many ppl have been telling me tt i should go enjoy life/ enjoy my last days of freedom blah blah before i enlist. hmmm if i had the money, i would go travel. i will go japan or somewhere. and it's 2 weeks left before i go tekong. hmmm actually i'm actually quite looking forward to going to tekong, as it'll be a brand-new experience, in a new place, with a new lifestyle. oh well, it might not, and probably will not, turn out as easy and carefree as what i'm thinking right now, but it'll be a good experience, i guess.

and i'm playing soccer tml! yay =) i hope everything goes fine and we'll have a good game.

i'm extremely tired right now. grr...
oh yes, weixuan asked me, or rather, i volunteered to translate the lyrics of kobukuro's "koko ni shika sakanai hana" and it was actually the first time i'm looking so closely at the lyrics, and it still stuns me, how it touches my heart so deeply. it's definitely one of my favourite japanese songs.

sometimes i wonder, why am i working so hard right now?
at first, it was for the experience, and partly for the money. i was very determined at the start that i'll get into a japanese university, so i'll need lots of money. but now, my parents are asking me to apply for a local university, because they are afraid that i might not get into a japan university. but i'm really reluctant to do so, because i don't want myself to get really undecided in the end.
what was the reason i didn't want to take s paper? what was the reason why i chose a path so different from everyone else?
i had a dream, i wanted to fufil my hopes. i never wanted any distractions to direct me off the my dream path, that's why i didn't want s papers. i didn't want SATS. i didn't want to do anything that will tempt me to do something that will destroy my dreams. even if i don't get into a japan uni, i'll never get into one in europe or america. i'd rather take the examination again the next year. if i don't get into a university, it's ok. i'll try again. i'll try until one day, i'll get in.
that is how strongly i believe in myself, which, well, might end up destroying my own future. ppl have been telling me that i'm in rj, so i'm at the cream of the crop and stuff like that. things like i'll grow to become a future leader... things like i'm meant to do something BIGGER, and destined to become a great person. but i don't want all these. if i could choose, i'd rather lead a simple live, or rather, an ideal one in my point of view. i'll be happy with that.

anywayyy, i met iwakiri and her daughter todayy. so cute! we waved each other good bye!

alright good night. im tireddd...