result

After reading through many people's blogs, i find out that 75.67% of them are very afraid, or at least not ready yet to recieve the Alevels results. Yes, neither am i! Why do we think so? Because we are Singapore, Singaporeans! We live up to the reputation of being muggers (for most of us, at least)- we study hard, and expect good results. Just a few weeks ago, I was told by my japanese friend that Singaporeans study too much. She's on attachment to NUS now, and she finds that the students there study everyday and have no life. Oh wells, i don't disagree with that, because most of us, really study too much. As for myself, i guess i should belong to the "study-ers" category.

And so, in just four days' time, our future will be decided, by that small piece of 10cm by 5cm result slip. I remember two years ago, when we were still small kids having fun at orientation, playing "silly games" (i never found those games silly actually), i started worrying about my Olevels results almsot since the first day of school, because i was never confident to do well enough to stay in RJ. But in the end, i did, so i was super happy. This time round, it'll be a totally different story. Two years ago, I had 9 subjects to be judged, and we only need to do well (ie get an A1) for just 6 subjects (minimum) in order to stay at RJ. But now, i only have FOUR subjects, plus GP to be judged, and i have to do well (ie get an A) for every single one, to be considered as "well done". So in some way, the expectations are a lot higher this time. SIGH. However, the truth is that, even if i have "done well", it might not get me where i want to be, because the path i chose is a lot different from what the rest chose. and so, in some way, you can say that i don't feel the pressure of having to do well in this examinations. but the truth, and reality is that, i STILL do feel the pressure, because it's going to be a fact that will affect my life, and stick to me throughout. also, it deals a great influence on my confidence level.

talking about recieving results, it's never a happy thing for me, not in the sense that i do badly though. So far (fingers crossed), i've performed beyond my own expectations and goals in the BIG examinations (ie PSLE and Olevels), so i never had to taste defeat in a sense. But i do remember in Primary SIX, after i got my psle results and was going home happily with my family, i saw terrible scenes of people crying and felt pangs of meloncholy overwhelming in me as i cold-bloodedly stride past them, not able to do anything about it. i guess the scenes are still stuck in my head, which formed my first image of the reality of collecting results. den for olevels, my friends were more or less satisfied, if not elated, about their results, so it wasn't as depressing as the first case. What will it be like this time round, i wonder?

From what i observe, there are three kinds of reactions after collecting results. The first one is what i call, expression of feelings. This is the most dramatic one, and perhaps the most common one. These people will express their feelings, be it jubilation or depression, on their faces and actions. They scream, shout, jump, cry, hug each other. (Sometimes when people cry and hug each other, it's hard to tell whether they are happy or sad.)This way of showing your feelings is probably the best, because it tells the people around you exactly how you did, so people don't have to go around asking people, or rack their brains guessing how you did.

The second kind of reaction is to remain emotionless (not totally though). This means that the expression on their face tells absolutely nothing about how they did. in some cases, it tells the opposite. most people with this kind of reaction are those who have high expectations of themselves. so when they do well, they aren't exactly too happy, because they have just reached their target. (and they don't usually NOT reach their targets) And they really see results as being "damn important", so if they actually do badly, it'll deal a serious blow to them. of course, another group of people w this kind of reaction are those bo-chap ppl who don't care abt their results, but so far, i haven't seen one person who doesn't care abt his results at all.

And then the third kind of reaction is that in between the first and second. They express their emotions, but in a milder and neutral manner. For example, if one does well, he'll smile and go around telling his good friends how he did. And if he does badly, he won't cry, but instead, will go around telling his friends, "oh no, i did badly!" This is probably the most cheerful and optimistic reaction, as the results do, in fact, affect them, but they don't let it affect them too extremely.

If, on a scale of 1-10, where 1 represents a reaction that is totally emotionless (ie the second case), and 10 represents a dramatic reaction (ie the first case), (therefore the third case will be at 5), i will probably belong to 2 (in the past), and 3(now), as i've learnt to become more optimistic about life. so i've learnt to not let results affect me too much.
So, on the scale above, where do you belong to?