Winding road.

It's been a while. Nothing has changed though- Where I stand, where my dream stands. Everything, status quo. I wonder, what can I do now to shorten this distance? What can I do now to even create a change? I realized that there's nothing I can do except to wait for time to pass. It seems like time is the only distance between us.

Nine more months. If I had come a long way without any hope faltering, I'm sure I can go on in the same way. Perhaps I need more short-term goals, like I've mentioned before, so that I'll have more encouragement to push on. Accomplishing these short-term goals one by one, so that before I know it, I'm stepping into the last lap of this long journey. And the first short-term goal will be coming up in July. I guess that is the ignitor for the spark of motivation that I desperately need. Once it starts, it goes on. Non stop. Until this little spark bursts into flames and brightens up the long stretch of road ahead, as I start walking, no, running on this winding road of my future.

I have no problem running. It's just the wait from now till July that kills. Please, let July pass by quick.

I feel the prick in my heart when I see people around me are going Japan. Why, of all places, do people choose there, somewhere I've been waiting for so long, working so hard, planning so meticulously for? People around me just pay to go. Everything seems so effortless. Yet why is it that, for me, there is this wait, there is this barrier? Where has all the fairness in this world gone to?

I still remember clearly as the regular customer of bongout told my boss, "I'm going back to Japan next week." Then, Michiyo-san left. Rui left. Saori left. Celestine left. Minling left. Jonfang left. Iwakiri left. Shenyue and 2 others left. Enhui left. Sheauying YongJeng left. Even now in the army, the only other person in my office, MSG liaw is leaving too. How many has left? How many more to come?

One by one, one after another. Looking at them leave makes my heart bleed. When will it be my turn?