Why

悲しい気持ちは時々溢れてたのよ。

Why am i doing things that hurt myself? Am i being too sensitive?

I finally went down to kino to buy the text for myself today as our course ended extremely early on the last day. As i was flipping through the pages, a wave of inconfidence and insecurity swept past me. I thought to myself, why am I doing all these? Are all these even going to help me in any way? It seems like i'm just making things more difficult for myself. Eventually, will all these unseen efforts be recognized? In the end, who's going to give me the pat on my back and say, "well done, you've tried hard."

I'm not asking for much, yet no one can give me this little thing i want.

Where was i when everything was smooth-sailing, and as i wished? and where was i when everything's not right, when the world seemed so unfair?
I only see myself when things all go wrong, and start complaining about life. Yet when everything was according to my will, i was too busy being happy about it, i didn't see myself in the picture.

I'm drown in the "yesterday" where everything was not right, not sufficient, not fair.
I yearn to be in the "today" where I'd drawn in my dreams, even if it was all jumbled up.

When will I reach the crossroad of my life?