Memoirs of a haishya

野薔薇

2007-08-23T20:54:00.000+08:00

野薔薇

わらべは見たり　野中のばら
あしたの野べに　きよらにさける　　　
ゆめの花よ　　　
くれないもゆる　やさしのばら

わらべはよりぬ　野中のばら　　　
とわのなげきを　とげにひめし　　　
花のあわれ　　　　
くれないにおう　いとしのばら

わらべはおりぬ　野中のばら　　　
あどけなき子は　花の思いも　　　
知らでつみぬ　　　
くれないかなし　ちいさきばら

the children look at them; the wild roses
the flowers that grow in the wild, away from the sunlight
the beautiful flowers
the bright red flames; the gentle roses

the children avoid them; the wild roses
the thorns on the flowers; prick the children
the flower's appearance
the bright red fragrance; the friendly roses

the children are gone; away from the wild roses
the innocent children; forgotten the roses
it's not their fault
the bright red grief; the small little roses

未来へ

2007-06-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

ねえ、夢が叶うことと幸せになることはどうして別なものなんだろう。いまだにわからない。夢がかなえることってやっぱりめでたくてうれしいことだけど、それでも幸せになったとはいえないのかな。一方、幸せになることって必ずしも夢をかなえるとは限らないでしょう。幸せの正体っていろいろあるから。

自分のストーリだからこそ、諦めたくない。

前だけを向いて、信じればいい。自分自身を。でも、信じることだけで何も叶わないよ。でも何があっても諦めたくない。失敗の確立は低いけど、それでも失敗する可能性はあるという。これは自分の人生だから、自分で生きてゆきたい。子供のころに描いた夢どおりに、生きて生きたい。

My dreams 言葉にできないだけなのだ。

Living for the Future

2007-06-05T17:57:00.000+08:00

Do we live for the past, the present, or the future? Are we doing now, what we really want? Or are we just doing what we are doing now, just for the future? Or are we doing something now, to compensate another thing in the past?

Will this really mean a different thing if it weren't for me?

I can't wait for the future. Everyday is just a going-through-the-motion affair.
It's time we move on, guys.

On a different note, I'm really touched by how the storemen really slog for their superiors. They weren't supposed to be here in the first place, yet they are doing so much, without a word of complaint.

When I was complaining about how I got the DO duty on a public holiday, I never realized how the storemen felt when they had to come back on a public holiday to do work. And mind you, it's hard labour kind of work. Yet they were all smiles. I guess it really is about finding joy in your work.

Start to End to the Beginning

2007-06-03T20:01:00.000+08:00

When we first met each other, we were entering the teenage years of our lives.
When we are going to say goodbye, we are nearing, in fact, just passed the end of our teenage lives, and going into our adulthood.
Teens.
Now I know why we enter secondary school at 13 years old. It marks the start of our teenage. That's when we start maturing, and make friends. And I feel really happy to still be with these friends as I graduate from my teens.
I'll miss those innocent, playful, childish times. How we treated our teachers, how our teachers treated us. It's worth a smile as we recollect those moments. Unretrievable moments of our lives. But whenever we think back, it's always good memories.
As we relish those moments, we have to get ready to move on with our lives.
This is just the beginning.

Nice

2007-05-29T21:11:00.001+08:00

First time conducting live run. (i can never figure out whether it is live or life run.) Anyway, it didn't go as smoothly as i thought it would, but thank goodness no one pinpointed out the mistakes.

It doesn't help having our 20SA CO and S3, 21SA CO and S3, and all the PSOs and COs of my unit, all come down to run with us on my first time conducting it. Firstly, it has to be formal, unlike those casual runs we always have, without any proper conducting brief and stuff. Secondly, I can't afford to delay or screw it up, if not, i'll be screwing myself up. So, just as I brought out the tables to set up the water point, the first person I had to see was the CO of 21 and 20SA. Good luck. Nothing set up yet and he's come in. Before I know it, people start coming down, and all the senior officers started to chit chat, while I sweat it out preparing for everything. Then the safety rover driver had to mistake the live run date as tml, so he wasn't present there. Luckily we called him and asked him to fly down immediately.

Thank goodness I had the help of my fellow junior officers who taught me what I should do first. So we conducted the warm-up first, while the guys go collect ice, and the marshallers deploy themselves there, and the safety rover makes it way here. Luckily nothing major screwed up, except that the safety rover wasn't here yet. But with the permission of the supervising officer, we kicked off the run. Then the safety rover came shortly after that.

Then the run ended quickly, and we started doing cool down. Then my CO has to come over to check my life run files, and asked if i've read through them thoroughly. I thought he was going to ask me some questions that will choke my throat, but he just gave me some pointers on what to do next time.
Live run ended there.

I'm really glad that there are still nice people around who are willing to exchange duties with me even when the whole unit is taking off. I was really touched. He didn't have to do it, because he disrupted and came back, so he only needed to do ONE weekday. But he was nice to exchange with my FRIDAY, because he saw that i was going to die if i had to do that long weekend duty.

Nice.

last birthday

2007-05-28T21:24:00.000+08:00

"Last" always sounds sad, because it signifies the end of something. It also implies the beginning of something, and "beginning" is always full of uncertainty and anxiety.

Remember the beginning of schools, the first step into a school full of unknown people. Not knowing anyone I know, not seeing any familiar faces around. And whilst scanning the faces of the people around me, I start comtemplating who should be the first person to talk to. Remember the beginning of OCS, the first step into a huge compound, knowing the inevitable fact that I'm going to be stuck there for the next three weeks, yet unable to escape that reality. Knowing that it's not going to be easy, yet half-heartedly wanting to try it. Wanting to give up at times, yet an unknown force pushing me on.

So how will someone feel on a day where he knows that it's going to be the last? Should he be worried and thinking about what he has not done before the day comes? Or should he be excited and looking forward to the new beginning?
This is probably the most significant birthday of my life and I can't believe the way I'm going to spend it. Meaningless.

I can see why many people say that the teenage years are the most eventful years in our lives. It's probably going to be the most glorious days in my life. I made some lifetime friends too. (though our fate seems to be ending in about 8 months time) I've done things that make myself, my family, my friends proud. Getting first in Japanese in sec3, second in sec4; being the top scorer for olevels; passing jlpt level1 in jc1; becoming the japanese club president; getting 4As for Alevels; then commissioning as a SAF officer this year.
But if you look at it, it's merely academic. Thing are never going to be the same again. Realized that life isn't just about grades. It's must more than that.

Done things that changed my life. Need i explain more?

So much that I've accomplished, yet I haven't fufilled my dream yet. Isn't reality just too cruel? I've climbed all the steps on the ladder, just missing the last one to reach the top. Yet I can't climb it till the time is up. It just makes my teens incomplete, like a jigsaw puzzle missing its last piece. And I can't do anything about it. Time's going to be up in a week's time.

And how am I going enjoy the last week of my teens? How, when I have 3 days of duties in this week?

Perhaps things will change for the better, as I welcome the new beginning. Perhaps I will be seeing those glorious days again. Perhaps I'll make more lifelong friends again. How I wish I could just fast-forward everything.

Never Always Volunteer Yourself

2007-05-27T11:35:00.000+08:00

Please don't mention the "M" word or the "A" word. And I get the vibes whenever I feel a vibration in my pocket, signalling a phone call or sms. Anyway, I'm halfway through. I believe I won't be so unlucky, or like what they always say, suay.

Navy Open House. Not only did we manage to catch glimpses of cute girls, we had the chances to talk to them, and let them play with our guns. (Erm, SAR21, that is.) Well, it wasn't just about giving the public a service. We do get to see nice people around at times. It's really a pleasure when people treat you nicely, or when you see a happy family taking a photograph.

It's not really easy as you think, to just let them shoot. Kids can't carry the weapon by themselves, so it's just nice of us to support for them, while they try and figure out where is their left hand or right hand.
"Put your left hand here, boy."
"No no, left hand."
"No no, here here. Not there."
When they finally realized where the scope is, I could feel the strain in my forearm muscles. But what can I do? Just smile at them and say, "Okay, try again. You are supposed to see a cross inside the hole (scope)."

When they finally give up, beads of perspiration trickle down our foreheads, as we stand up from the kneeling position, and struggle a little to relieve the amount of acid accumulated in our thighs. And the worst part? Looking over the shoulder of the kid, to see a long queue of kids excitedly waiting for their turns.

Perhaps we should cap this at NC16.

Well well, as much as we complain about this, I do find a sense of satisfaction and enjoyment while doing this. Maybe it's just the innocence aura encompassing the kids. The silly smiles on their faces when they can't hit the target. Their faces turning white as they try and hold the rifle, tilting their entire body backwards.

And how can I forget the father who passed me a piece of tissue paper when his child was done with, well, holding the gun. (In fact I was the one holding it!)

Never always volunteer yourself. Well, not really true- it's about finding joy in what you do.

Missing You

2007-05-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I do hope that I'd live without the closest and most precious things in my life now. Things like computers, internet etc. I'd probably just make do with handphones and televisions. These luxuries are casting a cloud over our minds, distracting us from what we really have to do. Maybe one day, one day when I get to change my life, I'll do it.

We're missing the little pleasures in life.

Anyway we went to mind cafe yesterday and spent four full hours there. It was probably one of the best outings we had, even though the cost ended up to be $10 per person. I guess it was worth the money. I intended not to spend too much yesterday, but unfortunately, mind cost $10, present cost $10, dinne cost $10 and we ended up at a pub watching football, and having beer which cost antoher $7. And it didn't end there. Chelsea and Man Utd players didn't want to score, so the match went into extra time before Drogba finally kicked in the decisive goal. But by that time, the last train had kicked off too. So we had to take a cab home, and not to forget the midnight surcharge.

Events like these only make me fall into a greater dilemma. Future or friends? Someone introvert like me, who finds it hard to make friends, is going to abandon the best friends he has here, to pursue his dreams. Is this what I really want?

明日晴れるかな

2007-05-19T11:37:00.000+08:00

明日晴れるかな

唄：桑田佳祐
詩：桑田佳祐

熱い涙や恋の叫びも
輝ける日は何処へ消えたの？
明日もあてなき方向（みち）を彷徨うならこれ以上元には戻れない。

耳を澄ませば心の声は僕に何を語りかけるだろう
今は汚れた街の片隅にいて
あの頃の空を想うたびに

神より給えし孤独やトラブル
泣きたい時は泣きなよ
これが運命（さだめ）でしょうかあきらめようか？
季節はめぐる魔法のように

Oh baby no maybe
「愛」失くして「情」もない？
嘆くようなフリ、世の中のせいにするだけ
Oh baby you are maybe
「哀」失くして「楽」はない？
幸せのfeeling.　抱きしめて one more time.

在りし日の己を愛するために
想い出は美しくあるのさ
遠い過去よりまだ見ぬ人生は
夢一つ叶えるためにある

奇跡のドアを開けるのは誰？
微笑をもう一度だけ
君は気付くでしょうか？
その鍵はもう君の掌の上に

Why baby? Oh tell me
「愛」失くして「憎」もない
見て見ないようなフリ、その身を守るため？
Oh baby you are maybe
もう少しの勝負じゃない？挫けそうなfeeling　乗り越えて one more chance.

～間奏～
I talk to myself
～間奏～

Oh baby no maybe
「愛」失くして「情」もない？
嘆くようなフリ、残るのは後悔だけ
Oh baby smile baby.
その生命（いのち）は永遠（とわ）じゃない
誰もが一人一人胸の中でそっと囁いているよ

明日晴れるかな？

遥か空の下

Distractions

2007-05-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

One thing I'm sure, computers and internet are the worst distractions. They not only stop you from doing what you need to do, but also depletes the enthusiasm or will to do your work.

End of teens

2007-05-11T18:23:00.000+08:00

Living the last few weeks of my teens, i look back to see what i've done, and especially what i've not done, because after these few weeks, i will no longer be a teenager again. And i guess there are some things that should be done in the teens. Am i ready to face the start of my adulthood?

I realize I still remember vividly how I spent my birthday for the past few years. So maybe i should be thankful that my birthdays have been so special each year. This year's birthday will be the last in singapore for a long long time, and i hope my subsequent birthdays will be special too.
Last year: birthday was spent at the passing out from BMT. Something i thought was special, but it only marked the true beginning of NS. Surprisingly, no one remembered it.

Two years ago: one of the best. Spent in Tokyo, celebrated together with my host family a few days earlier. A surprise one makes it even more special.

Three years ago: Spent mugging in the library when two of my classmates, spenser and anthony suddenly msg-ed me happy birthday.

Four years ago: Spent in a classmates' house during one of the stayovers we often have. And indulged in PS2, mahjong. and ended up watching some funny video which was rather X-rated.

Five years ago:One of the best too. Spent in Sapporo together with the whole gang of friends in the immersion programme. Spent watching World Cup Match England vs Argentina which took place in Sapporo too. Something that made it so special.

My memory ended there. Can't recall what happened on my birthday when I was in Sec2. Oh well, i wonder what will happen on this year's birthday.

Winding road.

2007-05-09T06:17:00.000+08:00

It's been a while. Nothing has changed though- Where I stand, where my dream stands. Everything, status quo. I wonder, what can I do now to shorten this distance? What can I do now to even create a change? I realized that there's nothing I can do except to wait for time to pass. It seems like time is the only distance between us.

Nine more months. If I had come a long way without any hope faltering, I'm sure I can go on in the same way. Perhaps I need more short-term goals, like I've mentioned before, so that I'll have more encouragement to push on. Accomplishing these short-term goals one by one, so that before I know it, I'm stepping into the last lap of this long journey. And the first short-term goal will be coming up in July. I guess that is the ignitor for the spark of motivation that I desperately need. Once it starts, it goes on. Non stop. Until this little spark bursts into flames and brightens up the long stretch of road ahead, as I start walking, no, running on this winding road of my future.

I have no problem running. It's just the wait from now till July that kills. Please, let July pass by quick.

I feel the prick in my heart when I see people around me are going Japan. Why, of all places, do people choose there, somewhere I've been waiting for so long, working so hard, planning so meticulously for? People around me just pay to go. Everything seems so effortless. Yet why is it that, for me, there is this wait, there is this barrier? Where has all the fairness in this world gone to?

I still remember clearly as the regular customer of bongout told my boss, "I'm going back to Japan next week." Then, Michiyo-san left. Rui left. Saori left. Celestine left. Minling left. Jonfang left. Iwakiri left. Shenyue and 2 others left. Enhui left. Sheauying YongJeng left. Even now in the army, the only other person in my office, MSG liaw is leaving too. How many has left? How many more to come?

One by one, one after another. Looking at them leave makes my heart bleed. When will it be my turn?

you don't have to know my name

2007-05-06T09:12:00.000+08:00

you don't have to know my name.
i can't wait for the day when i can finally say that. Everyone's been saying this cuz they are going ord, so the new people do not need to know them.
iwanttoordtoo.

satisfaction

2007-04-29T16:40:00.000+08:00

ilurrveniki: thank you so much! You guys are really fast!!
I really love this drama!!! THANK YOU SUBBERS!!!

Rikayla: You guys are scarily fast.
;_________; BUT OMG THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!

ikaruga: I think that is the FASTEST subtitle release of all the times!!
Thank you SO much!!!!!

Hudsonn: Wow yes ep2 subs! Thank you very much D-Fansubs!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is what i gained for joining D-Fansubs: Sense of satisfaction.
Thanks guys for appreciating our work.
Isn't this how this world should be functioning? Spread the love, spread the passion.

Looks like the pace of my life has slowed down. This gives me a moment of reprieve to revise what i've been planning for my big day in 9 months time.

Am i taking things for granted? What if Plan A fails? Do i have a Plan B? Or am I going to be stuck right there for the rest of my life.

I remember my principal telling us just before graduation from junior college.
"Life is not about Plan As; it's about Plan Bs and Cs."

I just pray that my Plan A works, as this is my only plan.

Why

2007-04-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

悲しい気持ちは時々溢れてたのよ。

Why am i doing things that hurt myself? Am i being too sensitive?

I finally went down to kino to buy the text for myself today as our course ended extremely early on the last day. As i was flipping through the pages, a wave of inconfidence and insecurity swept past me. I thought to myself, why am I doing all these? Are all these even going to help me in any way? It seems like i'm just making things more difficult for myself. Eventually, will all these unseen efforts be recognized? In the end, who's going to give me the pat on my back and say, "well done, you've tried hard."

I'm not asking for much, yet no one can give me this little thing i want.

Where was i when everything was smooth-sailing, and as i wished? and where was i when everything's not right, when the world seemed so unfair?
I only see myself when things all go wrong, and start complaining about life. Yet when everything was according to my will, i was too busy being happy about it, i didn't see myself in the picture.

I'm drown in the "yesterday" where everything was not right, not sufficient, not fair.
I yearn to be in the "today" where I'd drawn in my dreams, even if it was all jumbled up.

When will I reach the crossroad of my life?

why i like yui

2007-04-22T11:11:00.000+08:00

Behind the ever-cute yui, this is what she’s been thinking, and how she really feels. It’s all expressed in her songs. This is why I like yui.

「どうして人は言葉を持ったのだろう　心が見えにくくなる」- Why?
"Why do humans have words? It makes it more difficult to see our hearts."

I was reading through the lyrics from the second album "Can't Buy My Love", and this line, from the last song "Why?” almost moved me to tears. The soothing, touching tune, combined with this line filled with grief, and a sense of loss and confusion, is really powerful. I believe we are all born with a pure heart, free from evil thoughts. It’s probably the environmental influence that stains the whiteness in our hearts. Born into this world filled with unkindness, cruelty and bloodshed, we start to adopt the mentality of selfishness- Self before others. If we don’t kill, we don’t survive. This brings me to a line I read in “The world is flat”. It originally was an African proverb, but I find it really meaningful.

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.

It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.

Every morning a lion wakes up.

It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.

It doesn’t matter whether you are the lion or the gazelle.

When the sun comes up, you better start running.

So we carry on living with this mentality. We try all means to outwit our closest buddies beside us, so that we can survive in this rat race. Words, or literal expressions, are one of the ways to cheat the others. Words make it difficult for others to see our hearts, our true intentions. So why? Why do humans have words? It makes it more difficult to see our hearts. Why can’t we live in our most natural self?

「それ偶然でもなくて、ありふれた夢なんかじゃなくて」- Feel My Soul
"It's not just a coincidence, it's not just a common dream."

「動き出せ　見えないけれど　道は開かれてる　そうもがきながらも　きっとこのまま　歩いてゆける」- Feel My Soul
"Get moving. Even if you can't see ahead, the road is paved out. Yes, even as you stumble, carry on, and you'll move ahead.

Both lines are from “feel my soul”. I guess this song has a special meaning to yui, as this song was the last song written by her before she departed her hometown, Fukuoka, to Tokyo. Everyone has their own dreams to pursue. Due to different talents, different perspective of an ideal life, all of us have different dreams. So no two dreams are similar, like thumbprints. Therefore from the first line, it says “It’s not just a coincidence, it’s not just a common dream.” Believe in yourself. Your dream is unique. No one is there to snatch it away from you. It’s there, waiting for you to reach for it.

Then the second line, as we take our first step towards our dream, it’s like stepping forward in total darkness. We can’t see what’s in front, thus giving us the uncertainty and the fear of the unknown. But we have to “Keep moving. Even if we can’t see what’s ahead, the road is paved out. Yes, even as you stumble, carry on, and you’ll move ahead.” We just need the first step to set off the next few steps. And soon, before we know it, we’re on our way to our dreams.

「簡単にいかないから　生きてゆける」- Life
"Life's not easy, that's why we keep on living."

This is straightforward. No matter how tough the going gets, no matter how many obstacles we see as we move along, we must understand one thing. “Life’s not easy, that’s why we keep on living.” All of us live for a purpose. If we only take one day, one week, or even a month to achieve it, what are we going to do for the rest of our lives? Therefore, the road there is never smooth, it’s never without hindrances. We have to keep on living to overcome these obstacles, and eventually see what lies ahead in our lives.

「何かを手放しで　そして手に入れる　そんな繰り返しかな」- Tokyo
We let go of something. We get hold onto something. Life's just a repetition of that.

Tokyo is probably one of my favourite songs. A simple melody, but lyrics full of emotions. I will listen to this song over and over again, when I go Japan next year. It basically describes all my feelings. The whole song is meaningful, but I find this line especially special. In a certain sense, it also implies that life is fair. There’s no person who can get the best of both worlds. So in order for us to achieve something, we have to sacrifice something else. And as we continue achieving more, knowingly or unknowingly, we have made more and more sacrifices.

プロポーズ大作戦

2007-04-21T14:13:00.000+08:00

「男の子は女の子を最初の恋人にしたい、女の子は男の子を最後の恋人にしたい」
なんていい言葉だなあ。今季のドラマは期待できるみたいだね。プロ作戦のほか、ホテリアーも見た。あとリアーゲームもダウンロードしといた。皆よさそうけど、時間がないよどうしよ。ホテリアーは今字幕を作ってるんだけど、途切れに見てるから、スムーズに見えない。プロ作戦はまさに、今季一番期待の高いドラマになるんじゃないかなと思うくらいだよ。女優俳優も皆かっこよくて、演技がうまいし、何よりドラマの内容は面白い。

そして、このドラマを見れば見るほどマサミちゃんが気に入ったよ。特にウエディングドレスを着てるまさみちゃんは特に可愛い！いい女優になれるように願ってるよぉ！

yup Proposal Daisakusen seems to be the drama to watch this season.
An interesting quote from ProSakusen. "Boys want girls to be their first lovers; girls want boys to be their last."

Yuzu's Haru Kaze is really nice.

ord hair

2007-04-20T21:03:00.000+08:00

Casually walking past the rows of shops, as I took quick glances at people who walk hastily past me. Wondering where they are rushing to, when it's a friday night. Just as I was ruminating deep in my thoughts, a voice from the side of a shop disrupted my train of thoughts.
"How about a haircut, boy?" said the man, who was dressed up, unfortunately, like a gay. Of course, his voice didn't contradict that fact.
Surprised at how he knew I was going for a haircut, I turned back to him and asked for the price. Reasonably cheap, I thought, as I entered the shop, led by the gay.
The shop was dimly lighted, and the atmosphere was really fishy.
I sat down on the chair, as he swung the cloth across my chest, and whipped out his scissors and razor.
That was the end of my hair.

whywhywhywhywhywhywhy

2007-04-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

i never knew looking at photos could deal such fatal damages to me. maybe 2 years is too long a time to be wasted like that. i can't wait no more. come quick, come. this is terribly unfair. i don't understand why. why must it be like that? i dont' want my life to be controlled like that. i swear i'll never let my life get controlled anymore after this. what right do you have to manipulate my life like that.

let me go. out of this place. and never back again.

school

2007-04-09T20:50:00.000+08:00

090407. The new school term starts in Japan. The beginning of Spring, the beginning of school, the beginning of work. Life springs into action todayy. As I was walking on the long stretch of road to SOL, I looked at the trees swaying by the side. Green leaves, flowerless, a typical tree in Singapore. I pictured my friends who are in Japan now, walking a similar long stretch of road to school, looking at the trees swaying by the side. Cherry blossoms along the road. See the difference? Sigh.

090407. One year and one day after my enlistment. This spells good news, because this means 10 more months to go. I've never felt so excited about something that's going to happen in 10 months time. Come bring it on!

this week

2007-04-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

I've been busy subbing drama that updating blog has become a chore. To sum up the two major events this week, firstly, "can't buy my love" has finally come!

This CD is really good. Now I regret not buying her first album. What a fan I am.

Anyway the second major event of the week was the sentosa trip yesterday. We played volleyball with two norwegians who were really good at it. And guess how old they were. 14 and 12 respectively. But I reckon that they were bored by the way we were playing- serving and picking. (serving the ball, which flies out of the court, so we had to go pick it) Anyway it was rather fun, if not for the scorching sun, which is the main cause of my sunburnt body now. Grr..

Look at how sporty we are. Bringing four balls to the beach, and complaining that it's not enough, we even borrowed a frisbee from others.

Manhunt 2007. Heh.

Nah, just a bunch of NSFs waiting to ord. Interestingly, out of the 6 guys present yesterday, 5 of us had "8 to 5" jobs, which means we don't stay in camp, but go home everyday. Haha. Life's Good.

The chinese swindler look. Wahaha. Sunglasses are cool.

spring and jump

2007-04-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

Yui's 2nd album was released yesterday but it hasn't reached my house yet.
That kinda sucks.
Yui's having her 2nd concert all over Japan for the next few weeks, while I'm stuck here, unable to go for them.
That kinda sucks.
Thinking of the people who just reached Japan, enjoying themselves while waiting for school to start.
That kinda sucks.
Looking at people around me who are going to ord in the next few months.
That kinda sucks.

Life's not always about the sad stories of our lives. I'm sure we have an equally bright side of it if we allow ourselves to go under and look at our own lives from a different angle n perspective. Well, despite saying that, I'm usually the one stranded on the darker side.
So, on a brighter side, tomorrow's Good Friday. TGIGF! It's time to go out and have fun!

Maybe I should have gone out more often and spend some money, instead of cooping myself at home. It drives me crazy.
Maybe it's time to start flipping some books and revert back to the old mugging days, it starts the generator in my head.
Maybe it's just the right time for the new drama season to start, so that I can rekindle, or rather, fuel the passion all over again.
Maybe it's time to start setting short-term goals, so that by the time I complete them, I'm nearing my long term goal.
Maybe it's time to start buying new stuff for myself, preparing myself for the next phase of my life.

I guess I know the time has come when I start filling up application forms, because when that comes, everything else will fall into place. Every other thing will piece up by itself in a matter of split seconds. Before I know it, my turn has come. Oh well, maybe I'm just thinking too much. Anyway, I might decide to take EJU or JLPT this year after all, this is a good way to keep up with my japanese. It might end up useful for my application too.

Looking at the calendar of 2008 makes me happy. =)

why

2007-04-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

why

why do you tell me all the things i don't want to listen?
why do you show me all the things i don't want to see?
don't you understand how i feel now?

why.
why.
why.

後フタリ

2007-04-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

立ち去ったんだ。けど、結局見送りしなかったんだ。まさかそんなことを目撃することなんて、悲しすぎかなと思ったんだ。何で皆が僕より先に行っちゃうのですか。不貞腐れるんだよ、マジ。僕の番まで、後何人が行くんだろう。っていうかさ、僕の番は来るのかな。皆に、友達に、家族や親戚に言いまくってるんだけど、本当は何もかも確定してない。結局、イケナイのかもしれない。そんなことは考えたくないっていうか、考えられないんだよ。

それを考えちゃうと、怖さや不安が込み上げてくる。ここまできたのは、ここまでこられたのは、そのためじゃないですか。七年頑張ってきて、待っていたその日は、来ないって、怖すぎだよ。

今の生活、マジで要らないんだよ。早く終わりにしろ。次へと続けろ。

Xデーまで10ヶ月

DF

2007-03-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

hehe I've officially started to help sub "konshu tsuma wa uwaki shimasu", last season drama whose last episode just ended last week. It's really addictive and I must say I really enjoy doing this job. Maybe it's a deprivation of japanese for the past few months.

Next season's dramas looking promising.

Alright, it's been a tiring day. Time to sleep~

the world is flat, indeed.

2007-03-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

i'm still reading "the world is flat" by thomas friedman. I've been really busy nowadays with my JLOC course and coming home quite late everyday. Grr... depriving me of my free time. And then there was this part that was talking about how the fall of berlin wall connected the countries together, then the computer connected companies; worldwideweb connected people. Then, with the standardization of internet and computer protocols, there is a freer workflow. We no longer need to be sitting in the same office to produce something. We can be seated at any part of this world, producing different parts of say a programme, as long as we are armed with computers with broadband internet connection.

I joined the fansubs team of the d-addicts recently, and i met two of the moderators online- Kandi and Annick. I was especially surprised when I knew about where they come from. Annick lives in belgium and can speak three languages, and learning 2 now. Kandi is a mixture of Cambodian and Chinese, living in the America. So this is exactly what the book, what Thomas Friedman was talking about. We can have three people of three different backgrounds living in three different countries, working on the same project. I must admit this is getting exciting, getting know people from other countries, but it is quite difficult, because we live in 3 different timelines. GMT -4.00, GMT +2.00 and GMT +8.00.

And the most amazing fact is that, the three of us, Belgian, Singaporean (Chinese), American (Cambodian and Chinese) with totally no japanese background are subbing a japanese drama.

the world is flat, indeed.

yui

2007-03-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

The cute yui

The young yui
人間は好きですか。
YUI:好きと嫌いなときがある。
どんなとき人間が好きになりますか。
YUI:愛があるとき。
どんなとき人間が嫌いになりますか。
YUI:何というか、愛がないとき。

タイヨウの歌
YUI:病気があるから弱々しいんではなくて、病気があるからこそ、生きるっていうことを知ってる、誰よりも。

Why so many videos of yui?
cuz it's her birthday tomorrow (26/3)!
Happy birthday!

涙そうそう

2007-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

従兄弟のうちでザーと新聞をめくってたら、映画ページに涙そうそうの広告をパッと見て、急に見たくなった。その小説も読んだから、結構感動するストーリだし、泣けるし、見に行こうって決めた。一人で見に行ったんだけど、結構込んでて、日本人も何人かいた。

で、映画を見てる間、涙がつい、溢れそうになった。感動したよ。そして、主人公の妻夫木聡と長澤まさみの演技もすごくて、改めて感心した。最後、クレジットが流されるとき、普通人はだんだん映画館を出始めるけど、今度皆は席に座ったまま、幕に出てくる一枚一枚の写真を見つめてて、「涙そうそう」っていう曲を聴いていた。きっと涙を流してる人はいるけど、僕も見に着てよかったなあって思った。

それから、久々の日本人のポウザの集まりだぁ！
久しぶりに会ったのでしゃべることが多くて、楽しかった。昔の面白い出来事や思い出を振り返して語ったら、ずいぶん成長してきたなあって、そのとき楽しかったなあって思っちゃった。懐かしいけど、昔に絞られるままじゃ、前に進まないよね。二人はもうすぐ日本に行くけど、悲しいけど、皆はやっぱり自分の選んだ道に進まなくちゃね。しかも、僕も後１１ヶ月で日本に行くんだよ！

今日の集まりで、色々しゃべったけど、ひとつ確信しました。
僕が本当に楽しく過ごしてるときは、日本人と一緒にいるときしかないんだって・・
だから、日本に行くしかない。残りの十一ヶ月、頑張ろうね・・・
アデュ！

can't buy my love!

2007-03-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

can't buy my love!!

yui!
040407!

<3

www.yui-net.com

SKW

2007-03-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

Today was my second day at work, and this is when tasks and assignments start coming in to me. Being new to the job and not knowing anything, I've been tasked with the simplest and most mundane of jobs. Not that i'm complaining, everything has to start from the basic and slowly being built up, but even when tasked with the simplest of jobs, i've difficulty having them done, due to my inexperience.

The sad thing is, I'm doing DO duty on thursday, my fourth day of work here. I dont' expect it to be smooth-sailing, as this will be my first duty, and I'm quite sure there will be something that i'll miss out on. Oh well, quoting what guanwen said "DO duty is so different from CDO/CDS" haha. yes definitely.

And no one seems to want to pick up my calls. I was tasked to call this photographer to ask him for some information but after several attempts, when he finally picked up, he told me he was busy and asked me to call later. So after a few hours, when I called him again, he refused to pick up. Oh well, maybe this is what they call "professionalism".

haven't changed a bit

2007-03-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

Reported to unit todayy. Nice environment with nice people, nice superiors and nice upperstudy. The rest of my 11 months seems promising. That's a great sign.

Anyway, I just received news that I might be going to South Africa and India this year. Cool! If I'm really going, I am really looking forward to it now.

Yesterday, as I was surfing around in Friendster, I stumbled upon this person, whose profile caught my attention because he attended the same pri sch (Ai Tong) as me, and was in the same Primary One to Primary Four class as me! So out of curiosity, I browsed through his photos and to my amazement, I have totally no impression of the face I was looking at.

Then this morning, this person probably viewed my profile (as he would have been notified of my visit to his profile) and left a message in my friendster, saying that he remembers me after looking through my profile and photos. Then he told me that he used to be thin when he was in the same class as me, but grew fat after that, which is probably why I can't recognize him anymore. Moreover, he had a common chinese name, which is shared by quiet a few of my friends.

Then, he commented that unlike him, I haven't changed a bit.
Haha, cool. I wonder if that's true.

From Boys to Men

2007-03-18T18:25:00.001+08:00

From boys to men

friendsters

2007-03-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

やっぱりちょっと寂しいんだよ。友達皆はNUS,NTUあるいはSMUに入るんだけど、僕だけは違う大学に入る。そして、また話題が違うんじゃないか。接点がないとしゃべれない。共通点がないと友達になっても長続きはしないだろう。

いつになったら本当の友達ができるのかな。
いつになったら控えずに友達を作れるのかな。
いつになったら偽りのない、本格的な自分が現れるのかな。

warm and fuzzy

2007-03-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

Admist all the riots and mayhem in the middle east, the disagreement between Iran and the UN, that between North Korea and the six parties, there are signs showing that this world is still full of hope. Somewhere on this earth, there's still someone who gives a damn about what's going on in the world. There's still someone who makes an effort to make this world a better place.

"If Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's visit to China was an ice-breaking one, I hope my visit to Japan in April will be an ice-thawing one." Chinese Premier Wen Jia Bao.
Do you feel the warmth? Incidentally, his surname's "wen" (warm). Haha.

And the founder of Japan's website livedoor, Mr Horie Takafumi, was arrested and charged for some security issues. Guess what the judge told him when his sentence was announced.
"Although you may have been found guilty, it doesn't mean that everything about you is condemned."
Yes, we need more judges like this, who give convicts a word of encouragement, a lifeline, a glimpse of hope.

Oh we feel the warmth in the world, so much so that we're experiencing the warmest winters in history, thanks to global warming. It seems like we have been slightly too oblivious about the severity of global warming a few years ago and the problem seemed to have shown its gravity this year. Guys, let's start taking care of our dear ozone layer before this world becomes too hot to handle.

flashbacks

2007-03-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

Passed by little india and RELC todayy. Had flashbacks of the little memorable past events. Remember the little excitements we used to have when buying the little gifts for our hosts? Remember the anxiety as we trooped down to RELC to fetch our hosts, someone whom we've never met before?

Realized that it's the little things that make a big event so significant. An event is not complete without the pangs of excitement before it, and the aftertaste of it. Just like how I used to think that a school examination isn't complete without the mugging before the exam, the nervousness during the exam, and the uncertainty after the exam. All these come together to form the greatest fear of students- the exam.

The main event today was our commissioning ball. This basically marked the official end of cadet days, and the beginning of yet another journey, the journey of officership. I never felt sad about commissioning, till the end of comms ball today, when the realization that i might not be able to see some of my friends again, dawned upon me. It was probably a retarded reaction, but it still struck a chord in my heart. Fate brought us together for these nine long months. And this is just how long it's going to last, and this fate is going to end soon. Whether we've made good use of these period of time is another issue, but I'm glad we came together and commissioned together.

Knowing that I've hardly made any good friends whom I'll continue keeping in contact for the rest of my life, I'm just contented and reassured that this whole period has made its mark in my memory trail. One day when I track back this trail, I will find this camaraderie we used to have, this experience we used to share, and this common dream (of becoming officers) we used to strive toward.

I took quite a few photos todayy. But remembering wat iwakiri told me, photographs are merely images of ourselves on paper, illusions of what we perceive to be seeing. What really gives us the impact are the photos embedded in our memories, taken by the cameras in our eyes.

Photos really do make an impact. Although I mentioned that photographs are merely images of ourselves, they are the catalysts that cause these images to re-enact in front of us, coming to life. That is why Otsuka Ai's "friends" made such an impact on me.

It was this line that tickled my tear glands.
あの写真から聞こえる笑い声、どこまでも響いてたね。
Laughters of joy emanated from the photographs, echoing all around. (This probably isn't the best translation of the lyrics, but this line really describes how powerful photographs are.)

Flashbacks are the subconscious backtracking on our memory trail in search of one moment of jubilation, or of grief, when we see or hear something that opens the gates of our minds, letting this certain event re-enact in front of our eyes.

Quote of the day: We fight for our country; we die for our friends.

160307

2007-03-16T09:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it's not that we are not good. Things are getting better, but that's not enough, quoting what our school sergeant major says, we need to get better-er.

Tonight's comms ball! Let's hope everything will turn out fine.

the world is flat

2007-03-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

the painful realization of the differences between my brother and i.

For every little good thing

2007-03-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

So, three more gone. How many more to come?

Sigh. This sucks, only makes me feel I have no control over my life.

On a happier note, watch this.
cheers

For every little good thing in life.

辿り着いた場所

2007-03-14T17:00:00.000+08:00

３８週間かけて、苦労して汗かいて涙して血流してきて、辿り着いた場所はなんだろう。これ全部を代わりに、一生の責任を交換したんじゃないか。

今週金曜日のコムスボールはやや近づいてきた。彼女を誘った人はもちろん、友人を誘った人もいる。そして、僕みたいに、まったく知らない人を誘った人だっている。これは一体何を意味してるんだろう。深くは考えたくないんだけど、何気なく気づいたことなんだ。この催しはすごく豪華だから、彼女を誘って忘れられない夜を過ごせる。好きな女性を誘って、盛り上がってよりいい感情を育てて、もしかしたら彼女になってくれるかもしれない。でも、まったく知らない女性を誘って何も意味もないような気がする。一夜一緒にご飯食べて、たとえたくさんしゃべっても、いい友達になるとはとても思えない。この絶好なチャンスを見逃すのは本当にもったいないと思うよ。まあ、女性の友達がいないってのは事実だからしょうがない。誰も誘ってないわけでもないし。断られたってしかたないじゃん。いちいち文句いっても解決しない。将来もっと仲間を作ってりゃいいんだ。

Anyway, while I was in the log store today, one of the storemen was listening to Crossroad by Yui! Cool, there's actually someone who listens to Yui besides me in the army. Haha.

I have been thinking about it for some time, I'm quite surprised by the number of officers (or officers-to-be) who are actually closely related to me.

From pri sch class: Me, Minzheng, Chongren, Jinfu, Irvin, JoshuaYee.
From Sec1,2 class: Me, WeiJun, PohShin, DarylChng, KeithTan.
From Sec3,4 class: Me, Qinxue, DanielPoon, AlsonYong, DarylChng.
From JC class: Me, Wenjuin, SeeHong, JoshuaYee, Anthony.

And out of all of them, there are TWO SOHs n 1SOM. Amazing.

Photo of the day

2007-03-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

130307

2007-03-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

Question: What is one similarity and one difference between these four girls and ME?

Yui

Eikura Nana

Ayaka

Nagasawa Masami

Ans: These four girls and I were all born in 1987.
The difference is that they are famous all over in Japan and I am not. Grr..

Great live performance of Winding Road by Ayaka and Kobukuro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzJgeYhbDLM&mode=related&search=

手紙

2007-03-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

やあ、「手紙」を見終えたばかりだ。やっぱりその小説を読んでから見た映画はわかりやすくなるよね。内容も大体わかったし、交わした会話も読んだことあるから印象に残ってる。なかなかいい映画だったよ。最後は感動的だったよ。そして、人生のいろんな残酷な事実も教えてくれた。犯罪者の家族はその犯罪者に近い人間だから、差別されるのは当然なんだって。だから、犯罪者はその事実を覚悟せねばならない。そうでないと、その家族は逃げられずに差別されるという。仲のいい兄弟だって、この事件によって、裂かれてしまい、結局弟は強盗殺人の兄を捨てようとしてた。さぞ悲しいストリーだ。

もう久々に日本語で書いたんですけど、まだこんなに書けるなんて思わなかった。オフィサーになったばっかりの僕はもしかしたら、これからは暇になるだろうと思うけど、だったら日本語をもっと使おうと思ってるよ。できれば、金も稼ぎたい。このすべては、間違いなく、一年後日本に留学するためなんだ。

じゃ、明日からまたキャンプに戻るから、今日はここまでにする。また今度書きますよ。

2-day-old officer

2007-03-12T15:46:00.000+08:00

"Never start on something that you cannot complete." that's what my echo wing comd told us just before we marched off to the parade square for our commissioning parade. True enough, since we had started off on this journey of officership, we shall carry this status throughout our lives, no matter where we eventually reach.

Indeed, we still weren't used to the lifestyle of an officer. Walking around (or in army terms- ba-long-long seemed too casual and slipshod. Anyway, the main highlight of the day was the salute by SSM. Our rank might be theoretically higher than that of his, but experience-wise, ii'll never be able to reach that level. The instant he raised his hand, i could feel my heart sink. He has definitely put in much effort in drilling us in preparation for the parade. Every round we double around parade square, every push up we did, was all for our own sake; he has nothing to gain from that. I really respect his professionalism. How will you feel if you were to train someone who's going to, eventually, rise up in ranks higher than you such that you have to salute him? Of course, i wouldn't dare say that I deserve that salute yet. It is all part and parcel of the culture and tradition. Therefore, this little hand gesture has sparked even more respect I have for him.

I'm still not used to being a "sir", after being called a "cadet" for the past 9 months. Even when writing our rank/name, there's always this urge to write OCT (officer cadet), instead of 2LT (2nd lieutenant). and i was kind of retarded when responding to someone who called me "sir".

Oh well, this is just the beginning. Sorry for the abrupt ending, but i'm too tired to carry on. grr, think i've caught flu!

too elle tee

2007-03-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

and yes, after 38 weeks of hard work, all has been paid off. New rank, new pay, and more importantly, new lifestyle. Indeed, as what wenjuin and zheng told me, the commissioning parade is really an indescribable experience; we should savour every single moment while standing, marching out there, and especially the instant when we throw our peak caps. Strangely, the moment everything ended, a certain weird feeling swept past me, unexpectedly. I suddenly had the realization that half of my NS liability has been served. In other word, i only have less than one year left to serve, before i'm free again. But then again, i realized that there's still a long way to go. This is but the beginning. And quoting Commander OCS, we are now all on the same ship- officership. (HAHA)

I remember that one of my teachers (can't remember who) once told us that if we do not study hard enough, we will have to pray to every god just before the exams.

And yes, we have done just that. we've been blessed by the nine esteem religious leaders. May all the powers combine!

The whole parade seemed jsut like one of the manymanymany rehearsals we had, just that this time, the grandstand was filled with people, so it wasn't that boring as I could look at the people sitting at the grandstand, spotting people whom i know. Before we know it, we closed up as we prepared for the final stage of the parade. Not that I didn't want the parade to end, but it all happened so quickly.

Fixing of officer insignias. This is one of the moments i had been waiting for. That one bar never seemed so close to me before. I can't help but keep looking down on my shoulder after that.

Then, the moment came.

Happiness was overflowing from everyone as we tossed our caps high into the sky. 38 weeks of training just for this moment, incomparable to anything else.

Of course, the parade would have been rather meaningless if these people hadn't come to share the joy. It's like getting good results, and unable to share the good news with anyone. I'm really appreciative of your presense!

Lastly,

My JC classmates were there too. Four (only three went though) of my classmates have become officers! (And now FIVE) I'm really proud of them. I can say proudly that the Sword of honour (infantry), sword of merit (armour) came from my class!

commissioning

2007-03-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

joint term hasn't been as easy as i thought. doing rehearsals everyday is more mentally and physically tiring than what everyone thought. but we're almost there. another three more days. i guess this is one of the significant moments of my life, and probably the only one in my army life. it's not just a promotion in rank, but also a gain in responsibility, and increase of demands in the future, even beyond army. i look forward to the challenges that i'll face after this saturday. Not physical challenges though, as i've had enough of them, but more mind-boggling tasks, so that when i finally ord, i'll at least have some experience in work-life and will not be disadvantaged when juxtaposed with someone else.

AND, still no comms ball date. after discussing some of my coursemates, i realized i'm not the only one who is stuck in this dilemma of deciding who to ask. It's not that i have no female acquaintances, but there are several factors i need to consider.
firstly the compatability of us. i figured it'll be quite weird if two people of totally different characters were to go out for such an event. awkward situations will arise too, as there will be a breakdown in communication. the relationship between the two ppl shouldn't be ambiguous too so as avoid awkwardness when asked the relationship.
As such, after asking the ppl i have in mind, and being rejected by them, i thought that it'll be better to ask someone i totally do not know, than to ask someone whom i'm not very familiar with. the reason is clear. going for a dinner with someone i completely do not know, there's no obligation to develop this friendship should any misunderstandings or mismatch in character take place. on the other hand, if i were to go for this dinner with someone i'm not familiar with, either our friendship deepens, or things turn sour or awkward. moreover, if misunderstandings were to arise, it will be difficult to escape as this friendship already exists. oh well, i look forward to my unknown blind date, and hopefully things will turn out fine and i won't waste my $300.

by the way, my relatives, including my family, think that i have many female friends. disappointingly, it's the direct opposite.

chinese new year

2007-02-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

hoho im back from thailand and before i know it, it was valentine's day, then chinese new year. oh well, valentine's day was as usual, spent alone. Hmm can't exactly say alone, cuz i had my battery mates whom i spent with in camp. In any case, i realize it's really sad to spend valentine's day with a whole bunch of guys. Oh well. I hope my valentine's day from next year onwards will be spent more fruitfully, or more excitingly. Heh, talking about valentine's day next year, I'd have ORD-ed! Ahh ORD is such a sensitive word.

Today is the second day of chinese new year and by tradition, my family goes out to visit relatives on this day. Sadly, this year is slightly different. Because my family is short of one person, and that's my elder brother, who has gone to India for an exchange programme till June. So without him, this year's chinese new year was much queiter. But nevertheless, it was still fun listening to relatives joke around. I'm still quite amazed by how my parents, who were sec sch classmates, still meet up with their classmates every chinese new year. Some new faces appeared this year and it's quite amusing seeing them trying to decipher who is the new guy. As the year passes by, i feel that chinese new year is no longer just about playing cards, liek what we have been doin for the past few years. I'd rather spend it talking to relatives and sharing experiences, which i find more interesting. Somehow it makes us feel older.

When we start talking about my life after NS, i always feel a tinge in my heart. I have a dream, which is yet unfufiled. Nothing has been confirmed, yet I've been telling everyone I'll be going to Japan for studies. I know my family has our own financial difficulties. I might not even get in after all. Why am I so adamant about definitely getting into the university. Why do I claim acknowledgement of the school even before it accepts me?

Looking at my friends chasing their dreams frantically, I inevitably feel a sense of helplessness in me.

On a happier note, Yui was ranked first in CDTV's girlfriend ranking! (A survey which questions normal Japanese guys who they want to be their girlfriends) Here are the results:

#1 YUI
#2 Otsuka Ai
#3 Hamasaki Ayumi
#4 Kaori Mochida
#5 ayaka
#6 BoA
#7 Kimura Kaela
#8 Koda Kumi
#9 Ishikawa Rika
#10 hiroko (mihimaru GT)

Amazing, isn't it? Yui's popularity is rising exponentially. Grr and there are rumours saying that she's releasing her 2nd album! Ahh Yui!

amazing thailand

2007-01-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

two more days to battleking. the last of all. phew. everything's coming to an end. our course is coming to an end! a 9 months course.

i still remember how i was so afraid as i stepped down from the taxi on my first day in safti, the first day of the gruelling 9 months i was going to experience. the drizzle only managed to dampened our moods further as we see our fellow schoolmate who enlisted earlier with their two white bars. then it was hell for the first two weeks, till we had our moment of reprieve when our families visited us on family visiting day.

then it was two white bars for us. but by then, our seniors have already gotten their third bar. so life goes on, training getting tougher and tougher day by day. section field camp, patrol field camp, platoon field camp, then spade. and that was when i got my observation report. i thought all was coming to an end for me until the good news that i was posted to artillery gave me renewed hope.

everything was rather smooth at artillery. it was more mind than muscles in arty and it suited me better. ex milo, ex recce/ survey, ex safari. then blue beret. then we entered specialized phase. ex recce/ survey 2, ex thunderbolt, ex thundersteam, integrated training. and here is where i am now. as i recall the first day i stepped out of the taxi in ocs, today is the day after 32 weeks since that happened.

ex battleking. finale exercise. may everything go well. may i come back safely and with 3 weeks left to the black bar.

sentosa~

2007-01-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

sentosa was great fun. honestly, i haven't had so much fun for a long long time. it was just pure entertainment, without any distractions. we played volleyball, frisbee and soccer. volleyball was kind of new for me as it was just my second time playing it. i wans't as bad at it as i first thought. although we kept missing balls and the game was kind of boring at the start, we got warmed up and finally able to play normally. thereafter when we played frisbee, we were approached by this friendly canadian called martin who was really enthutiastic in teaching us the proper throwing techniques of frisbee so we learnt from me one by one. it was truly amazing as we witnessed the different kinds of throws. then we played with him. then there was soccer which was fun as usual, especially when i scored a hat trick in one of the games! so cool! haha.

all these times are things that will remain in my heart as we move on. it is all these things, too, that will make our separation more grieved. all these activities bond us together, and when it's time to say goodbye, these are the things, ironically that will bring about the pain.

just heard from yue that en's going to waseda this april.
i felt a sense of loss when i heard that.
When will it be my turn?

steambolt

2007-01-12T21:46:00.000+08:00

we just finished thunderbolt, which was a bad exercise. everyone was just not up to it, including me of course. oh well i shan't talk abt that.
it's been a long time since i updated this blog. I just visited friendster and saw the updated photos of my friend studying in waseda now. It's kinda sad, realy. While everyone else is having fun, we are in green, proning, marching, doing silly stuff. I really can't wait to get out of green.oh well. just 13 more months. beside, commissioning is soon too, in 8 weeks time. It's always good to have something to look forward to. Accordign to wenjuin is an incomparable experience. we shall see.

takling abt comms parade, comms ball is coming soon too! shucks. i haven't found a date. that sucks, cuz i can't possibly pay $300 inviting someoen whom i don't know well. hmm sometimes i regret not making more female friends, or mayeb friends in general. no friends in contact in pri sch. a few good friends in sec sch and 1 good friend in jc. that's all. is that enough to pull me through life? i dun tink so.. everyone's lives go on too. and even now, they won't have time for me every week and it's high time i get some life man! looking at how my fellow pals in army sometimes makes me feel depressed. ken's got a good life. look at the guitarists- alli, jx, psy etc, they have common interests and thus make good friends.

talking abt common interests. it's not really just common as in similar interests, but common as in the usual interests that people usually have. things like soccer, guitar, dota, clubbing are common interests that people have. yes i do have an interest for soccer, but not an ardent fan of any particular team and do not have achance to watch matches every week, thus unable to catch up with most conversations. i still find it quite weird that i do not play dota when every other person in my bunk plays it. hmmm i guess once im out of computer or lan games, im basically just out of the league, and it's quite hard to make friends then sicne everyone else does it except me. hm maybe i shouldn't play dota. it's jhust my inability to carry out and successfully sustain a conversation. oh well this is part of my new year resolution- to be a better friend and be able to make many friends when i go japan NEXT YEAR, in 13 months' time.

oh well, it's thailand first, then commissioning. we'll see how it goes.

12 days

2006-10-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

in the end, 10 days of brunei became 12 days, thanks to kalimantan. oh wells, the past 2 days have been ultimate "sian-ness" and slacking around doing nothing at all. anywayy the stupid delay of my flight made my memories of socjot fade even quicker.

wad picnic in the jungle, strollin the park. it was all bullshit! it was much tougher than that! instead of a navigation exercise, it should be called mountain climbing or something. i think there isn't a single piece of 1m by 1m of flat land in that jungle of brunei! At certain parts we had to use our four limbs to bring us up the steep slope with no friction at all. At one point in time i even almost died from slipping down. U noe how scary it is to look back and see the slope turns down forever and ever.

Btw, the place that we went is called Temburong, which is separated from the main cities of brunei darrusalem. And we had our exercise at Zebu and Temada area, which is basically just jungles and more jungles and no end to it. Our first day was fine, just walking around finding the checkpoints and i was still able to contribute a bit to the navigation. Then night falls, and our second day started with our morale low cuz of the rain in the morning. we took really long to find out first and second checkpoints and by the time we left the Zebu area, all the other teams have alreadyy proceeded to Mt Biang.

Oh well, i shouldn't dwell too much about wad we did cuz firstly, it will be too boring and secondly, it's supposed to be a classified exercise, isn't it? Anyway the camp where we stayed in (Lakiun Camp) was pretty much like a long house int he kampong with 90 over ppl squeezing in one long house made of wood. there were two rows of double decker beds lining up. It was pretty dirty at first but we got used to it fast enough. Then the cookhouse! i had a pretty bad impression abt it at first cuz it smelt bad. Then i thought it wasn't that bad cuz the food was good, but before my impression turned for the better, I sat down on the bench and saw flies crawling about on the table. Oh my goodness. and my soup which started off clear, ended up with flies swimming in it when i finished my food. How gross! anywayy i must say that the food is really not bad.
Brunei is a funny place, with many big funny insects flying around.
THen showering time. the shower tap is really terrible. It DRIPS water instead of pouring down and we take really long to bathe, waiting for the slow stream of water to wash awaythe soap on us. In the end, some of us resorted to water hoses to bathe.

Next, onto Brunei jungles. One thing in brunei jungle which we don't have in singapore's is THORN PLANTS, the terror of all. Have you ever seen a plant with stem full of thorns? Well, i haven't. so i was really impressed by it at first, then disgusted by it when i first grabbed it accidentally as i was falling. sometimes the thorns are so small that u can't see it and when u brush past it, ur uniform gets stuck to it and it's not easy to take them off. Another terror of the jungle is BEE/ WASPS HIVES. i've never seen such BIG hives before that i was really afraid any slightest touch will activate the raid of the bees. but thankfully we were spared from that. The biggest i've seen was as big as a 2-year-old baby.

anywayy one thing i've learnt from this trip, and that is WATER IS PRECIOUS. i almost died when i ran out of water on the third day, and damn was i so happy to see a stream and all of us started filling our water bottles by the stream.

all in all, it was a GOOD experience but i really wouldn't want to go through it again.

10 days

2006-10-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

hoho finally going to brunei! not that i'm hyped up about going there, but it's really quite interesting, isn't it, to be able to go overseas for training, especially when it's my first time. Oh well, from all the stories heard, i'm feeling a bit worried as it doesn't seem as easy as i had expected. Hmm, i shall see when i go over there!

anywayy I've been teaching japanese to my syndicate mates as we had so much free time yesterday. Can youbelieve it? We did literally -nothing- yesterday. We stayed in bunk all day long, except for meals and submission of our luggauge. So, given so much time, my friends started to pick up little phrases in japanese. Looking at them getting so excited learning japanese, i could recall the times i was like them too, absorbing as much japanese as i could. I hope their interest doesn't end there, as mine didn't end where i started, but instead carried on till today, and forever and ever.

Over the past few days, i haven't been feeling really happy about things. Looking at my friends who used to at least smile at me or initiate a conversation back in ocs, they seemed to have changed a big deal. They treat me like strangers now, and don't even bother to look at me when i walk past them. Have i changed? Or are they the ones? This is terrible.

Besides, I finished reading Murakami Haruki's Norwegian Wood within two days. I read so fast because firstly, we had so much time; secondly, it was my buddy's book and i had to return to him in two days. So i literally flipped through the pages, and tried to absorb as much storyline as possible. Well,i must say that he's a really good writerin terms of description and i really wished i had the time to read it slowly to appreciate its minute details. Other than that, the book is more pornographic than i expected it to be, talking about the life of teenagers who drift about in life.

Ok, i shall go take a nap before i get ready to move off to brunei! See you in ten days!

socjot

2006-10-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

What is socjot?
It stands for Support Officer Cadet Jungle Orientation Training. It is basically a ten-day course in Brunei where we, officer cadets of support arms, in my case, arty, will be going through. When people hear of Brunei, the first thing that comes to their mind is, woah! mount biang! JCC (Jungle confidence course)! dam xiong. But no worries, I am rather optimistic about it. Why am I so optimistic? It's not because I'm confident of clearing the jungles in brunei alone, or surviving on eatin grass bark and wild boars. It is because it's "just a picnic in the jungle". OH, don't get mistaken. I wouldn't taking it so lightly if not for the quote from our very own arty instructors. While people in infantry have to go through the gruelling 10 day course, which includes JCC, and a long tumultous navigation that tests the limits of one's mental and physical capabilities, we on the other hand, are given combat rations for all the four days of navigation out in the jungle. Apart from the four days (compared to ten days) in the jungle, we will be spending the rest of our time (ie 6 days) in the "comfort" of the bunks in brunei, not forgetting the most promising R&R on the last day. Haha, no promises though, as the ten days in brunei might turn out a nightmare, so we shall see how it goes!

Putting brunei aside, I am actually bringing lots of *reading materials back to my bunk, as I foresee there will be much free time this week too! Let's rejoice! And welcome back our half-converted civilian life!
*One japanese novel, one japanese magazine and NEWSWEEK of issues from June to September.

artyy

2006-10-01T11:20:00.000+08:00

15 weeks have passed since i entered ocs, 6 months have passed since i entered army. I've been through so much for the past 6 months, notably the past 15 weeks. I must say I've grown up a great deal since then. Looking back at myself 6 months ago, and staring into the mirror now, how much have i changed? Physically n mentally, I've become stronger. In terms of mindsets, I've matured. I guess this is what army does to people. Of course, I have learnt many lessons of life too. I've learnt to see my strenghts, and more importantly, my weaknesses. In school, it is always easy to display one's strengths in front of others, and hide our own weaknesses. It is easier to live through our strengths without revealing other weak spots. However, as we grow up, as we enter the real world, our weaknesses can no longer be hidden. We can no longer decieve ourselves by just showing our stronger self. Our life is continuous, full of ups and downs, and during these downs, we have no choice but to live through it. No matter how other people look at us during these downs, we have to stand up again and continue our journey.

This is what army taught me. Unlike what people see me in school, or in general, before i enter the army, I am actually not as perfect or good as what many percieve. In our school days, we can always act through the short spans of our "lives" in class, and revert to our trueselves after that. In reality, our actings will be exposed because people constantly look at us day in day out. In the army, our buddies stay with us five or six days a week, they incessantly look at our actions. Be it during training, after training, during meals, during rest times or when we go to sleep, our buddies behave like judges who scrutinize on our behaviours. There is no way we can hide our true personalities and characters. That is why we are our truselves in the army. I must say I have seen most of my weaknesses, many of which I haven't known till I entered the army; and many of which I never wanted to reveal to others. But inevitably, people realize our shortcomings, and true friends are those who see beyond our shortcomings and accept them as part of us.

The 14 weeks in ocs have been enriching. I admit I haven't performed well, partly due to my attitude towards it. Perhaps it's not my style, perhaps it's not my type of battlefield. I need a battlefield which suits me, one that gives me the psychological edge over the rest, that allows me to excel. Perhaps arty is the place, maybe it's not. Irregardless of whether I perform or not, what i hope is to enjoy these days as an officer cadet, and in the end, commission successfully as a second lieutenant and enjoy my privelleges. After all, no matter what we become, we still go through the same two years, and there's always more to learn beyond the army. Our lives really begin after these two years of "introduction to the society", or i liek to call it "introduction to our true selves".

from bmt to pop, till now

2006-06-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

BMT

in a blink of an eye, bmt is history. all guys in singapore go through bmt, and only once. so my turn is over, i'll never have to go through bmt again. great! oh well, what can i say about bmt, it's been a really enriching experience. quite an unimaginable experience for those who haven't experienced army life. Living together with 12 other people in the same room, going for meals, training and returning to bunk feeling totally exhausted with the same old bunch of people. i still remember the first few days of bmt, when everyone couldn't get to sleep. and how we tried so hard to remember each other's names. how we always rushed up n down the stairs from our bunk to the company line. how we got so used to the army jargons even though we weren't really taught. terms like "admin time", "coy line", "double up", "RO" etc etc were just driven into our brains cuz we use them almost every day. field camp was another interesting experience, even though most of us would probably not like to go through it again. how we lived in the jungles for 7 days, how we survived on combat rations, digging shitholes, trenches. how we slept in basha tents, how we carried our rifles wherever we went, how the helmet and SBO became part of our body throughout the field camp. and there were long tortuous route marches, where we had a heavy fieldpack on our backs as we marched and sang songs along the way. and all the army songs will be stuck in our heads forever. oh well, 2 months of bmt have passed me by. what awaits me is my new posting, and beyond that is the continuation of my NS life.

POP
on the day of pop, all of us were in high spirits, cuz we knew we were going to be promoted from lowly recruits to the "not-very-low-but-still-lowly" privates. but nevertheless, we have been through thick and thin together, so i'm sure we will miss those days we fool around in bunk, during training, and after training. my bunkmates were really fantastic; they made my bmt life a really memorable and unforgettable one. and it's really a strange feeling how we shook each other's hands, hugged each other, and as we drag our duffel bags out of tekong, we realize that a few hours on, we won't be seeing each other anymore. we weren't be seeing thiswhole bunch of people who slept with me, ate with me, trained with me for the past 2 months.

and NOW
i still find it quite saddening that there's no one to go out withduring this bloc leave! and no one to watch the world cup with! wad a waste! everyone's in camp. grr. and my bloc leave's left with 4 more days only. anywayy, i've gone out with robin, and robin and jonfang on two ocassions. hmm my first time seeing robin in quite a while, and i must say that he's changed a lot! or rather, army has changed him a lot! hahaha his mouth's full of vulgarities now n it's quite amusing listening to him speak now. hahaha. and it's only my second time seeing jonfang since we enlisted. quite sad eh... 2 times in 2 months. oh well well...

and just today, i went out with iwakiri-san! so cool! my first time going out with a japanese, who is actually many many years older than me. haha (in fact she's already a mother!) and something interesting happened before that. we agreed to meet at isetan (shawhouse) at 1pm. then i waited from 1245 to 1350 and she was nowhere to be seen! and without a handphone, we couldn't contact each other. so i could only wait and wait. and finally a phonecall came. she had gone home cuz i was nowhere to be seen. so we discussed and figured out that she was actually at the other side of isetan which was near macdonalds too (i was at the mac cafe). oh manz, both of us waited for more than 40 minutes. and i didn't know that there were so many mc cafes at shawhouse! (btw she only came to singapore end of last year so she doesn't know the places well)

grrr... but anyway she came back and we went for lunch at this super super high class japanese restaurant called "aoki". oh my goodness, the moment i entered the restaurant, i felt out of place. haha the design was exquisite, unique and really impressive. and there were many small rooms so we took the first one. (apparently this restaurant's opened by iwakiri's friend, wow) then when i opened the menu, i was stunned by the prices. haha the cheapest thing there was $35. not knowing what to order, she suggested we eat sushi as it's famous for sushi. so we started eating and talking. after that, i showed her the way to orchard station and we proceeded to wisma atria, takashimaya and then to cineleisure (since she hasn't been there before). there, we had ice kacang! haha and she said it had a unthinkable and unique taste. haha, and how she was surprised how singapore's chicken rice is different from japan's chicken rice. and she told me that the sushi in singapore's "sakae sushi etc" is not the real sushi. wad i ate at aoki was the real one. hmm i couldn't tell the difference though. haha.

anywayyyy i'm going to meet her and her daughters this saturday again! so exciting! okie dokie. oh yes, i'm so goign to watch japan thrash croatia this sunday! grrrr.... watching japan lose to australia was such a heartwrench. i nearly wanted to cry, as i see all the japanese around me sulking as australia struck 3 goals mercilessly past japan in the last 6 minutes. sigh sigh sigh sigh.... japan should never have lost that game. it was THE game to win, and to bring us through to the next round. now we can only hope that a miracle happens we go through. GO JAPAN! SHOW CROATIA, AUSTRALIA, BRAZIL AND THE WHOLE WORLD WHAT WE ARE MADE OF! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF ASIA!

no regrets

2006-04-01T12:54:00.000+08:00

i've been talking so much about the sad and bad things about enlisting ns later than most of my friends, but come to think of it, there have been more pros than cons about enlisting late, at least for my case.

Here are eight reasons why I'm glad i am enlisting in April.

1) I got to meet all kinds of people, nice people of course. Believe it or not, it was my first part-time job at Bongout. and it really opened me a lot to the outside world, instead of just studying in the classroom for the past 17 years or so. i got to mix with ppl from all walks of life. Over the past 18 years of my life, i've only been mixing around with ppl who are in the same league as me, ie in my school/class. so it's really an eye-opener.

2) It was a great experience as a waiter at a japanese cafe, because not only did i get the opportunity to serve japanese customers, speak to them in keigo, i also discovered much about japanese cuisines, its tradition and culture. sometimes i feel ashamed about not knowing them despite having studied japanese for six years.

3) I earned some money for myself. it was the first time i actually earned money for myself. although it was quite tiring towards the end, i felt really rewarded. of course, the money will go a long way to my "studying in japan" fund. i don't want to keep relying on my parents, cuz they aren't really capable of funding me to go japan.

4) I met new friends. These friends include not only those who work with me at bongout, but ppl like iwakiri-san, yuki, sheralyn etc.

5) iwakiri-san really helped me a lot in finally deciding on what i'm going to do in future. of course, i had a long long time to think of what to do in future, while the rest are probably brain-dead in the army. in the end, i decided to choose something that i never thought i would choose. but for now, it's a right choice for me. after thinking for so long, i realized i had so many misconceptions about studying in japan and stuff. and of course, iwakiri-san gave me the motivation to continuing fighting on for the next two years, until my dreams come true.

6) I got to take part in chingay, with jonfang! it was really fun joining it again. although i might not be able to take part next year, which would be the last time, i'd savour the experience of roaming orchard road like it's my grandfather's road.

7) i learnt how to enjoy life, and slow down the pace of life. last time, it used to be rushing to school, rushing home, and before i know it, it's exam time. after exams, soon, school will start again, and the routine continues. i've seen a lot over this short period of 3 months, and i know i must learn to enjoy life, especially during this "golden age" of my life.

8) I had long hair for the first time in my life! hahaha, although my hair won't last for more than one week from now, it was a great having long hair! haha oh well, i'll kinda miss my long hair after i enlist, cuz it took me very long to grow such hair. but doubt anyone will get to see me with long hair again, at least not in the next 2 years.

yupp of course there are many more reasons why i'm glad that i enlisted in april, especially with all the experience i earned from working at bongout. yeahh.. it's one week left as a civilian! good luCkk to me and jonfang!

work....

2006-03-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

hmm it's one week left before i leave my job! my first job experience! so cool. i entered bongout as a gaki who doesn't know anything, someone who just wants to try something new, and earn some money for himself. even setsuko and michiyo said that i looked like those kind who only know how to study, and they were shocked at how much i didn't know at the start. hahaha aiya wadeva! i'm a spoilt brat. but luckily i learnt quickly before i could get sacked. haha.

work has been a pleasure since the start. it's quite complicated to be explained in a few words, cuz it really involves doing many stuff. in fact, almost everything that is required to maintain a cafe, except the cooking part. it's during the recent few weeks that i've become closer to everyone else in bongout, all the staff, cooks, hmm and customers as well =) but it just came a bit too late cuz i'll be leaving soon! but it's okay. i kind of understood what ppl mean by bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu cheng jing yong you. haha doesn't really fit in this context, but i'm really glad that i plucked up enough courage to come to bongout to ask for a job. i've learnt so so so much stuff that i'll never learn in rj, or anywhere else. i daresay i've had more fun at bongout than at rj, except the japanese experience in rj/ japan.

not only have i gained knowledge about japanese food (which is a great deal of knowledge), i've learnt much about japanese culture in terms of japanese cuisines. and also, how to speak to customers and all the polite form put to use in real life. i was really happy that day when i felt so natural speaking on the phone to a japanese customer. everytime i speak to japanese customers, i always get nervous and stumble but that day was exceptional. i wish i could be so naturaly always.

anywayy, there are many ways to make working fun! who says working is boring. my work isn't! here are some tips on how to make working, especially waitering, exciting!

1) Guess what customers will order.
there's a stark contrast to wad japanese and singaporean customers will order, so it's very interesting to observe the differences. The most observable difference is in the kind of ramen they eat. most japanese customers, especially kids, eat shoyu ramen. on the other hand, most singaporean customers like tonkotsu ramen, for some reason i do not know. i personally do not like tonkotsu ramen, i like miso ramen, which is not particularly liked by japanese nor singaporean customers. and then, most japanese regular customers eat the "today's special" cuz they are probably sick of the food in the menu, and wants to eat something special. another reason is perhaps they don't want to waste brain cells thinking about wad to eat everyday, yet they do not want to eat the same thing, so they choose "today's special", which changes everyday!

2) Speaking to japanese customers in japanese.
This might seem quite logical but most customers assume that we are singaporeans, so they try to speak english. but amusingly, most of the time we understand better when they speak in japanese. so most of the time, even when they speak in english, i'll reply in japanese. it's hard to describe, but it's a real joy to talk to them in japanese! of course there are some customers who insist on trying to speak in english, so our conversation will end up with them speaking in english, and then me speaking in japanese! cool!

3) Watching small kids!
Small kids are a real treat to the eyes! cuz they are reallyyy dam cuteee. and listening to their conversations is a joy too~ recently the small kids have been reading porn comics! hahaha. at first i thought it was just a bit too mature for them, not exactly explicit porn. it all started with the small girl with big eyes reading it. den she recommended to rika-chan~ who den introduced to the other small kids. den every time they come, they'll be reading those comics! naughtyyy.... haha so out of curiosity i went to see what's inside. and to my surprise (more of horror), it's really quite explicit for small kids! omg. to think they even showed to their parents. hahaha. even when it gets busy, everytime i see the small kids, i feel that all this hard work is worth it! =) oooh, esp when they say thank you, or smile at us, we feel rewarded! i love rika-chan and yuki-chan's "arigatou gozaimasu". sounds so formal yet so cute!

4) Talking to the chefs and mixing around in the kitchen
Our chefs, anthony and andy, are dam funny people! they are experienced too! so it's always interesting to listeng to them speak about their experiences. it's also very fun to watch them cook or prepare meals. hehe.. i'm sometimes impressed by how much they know about japanese, both the language and culture! it's no surprise cuz they have been working as japanese chefs for most of their lives. there was once anthony told us about how he has caused several restaurants to close down cuz of his lacklustre attitude. hahaha so funnyyyy... and he has really many friends. some of the customers used to work with him, so he goes out to greet them when they come. so cool. and their straightforward way of speaking amuses me! hahaha. cool people.

oh well this list is non-exhaustive but u get the idea. i enjoy my work! i'll probably go back to bongout as a customer after i leave! oh wells, it somehow reminds me of how hard i worked to try and earn money to go japan. so it'll motivate me.
argh i can't type japanese characters now, but "shoshin wo wasuru bekarazu"...! it means "do not forget your beliefs/ dreams" it's badly translated cuz there's no direct substitution for the word "shoshin" but it basically says that we all have a dream in mind from the start that made us push so hard till now. we musn't forget wad it is, and must work hard till we get to the end.

school

2006-03-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

i went back to school today~~

and we were surprised the number of lame posters they have all around! dam funny!

wahhh sounds so badd...but...

wah. for every seat u give up for an elderly, u get to skip three lectures or three ccas! so cool. we must give up our seats more often then...

never drive after drinking, u need to give up seats to elderly FOUR times to make up for it!

this is funnyyy...

nani mo nai basho

2006-03-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

ahh long time no update. it's been a tiring week. x_X... many ppl have been telling me tt i should go enjoy life/ enjoy my last days of freedom blah blah before i enlist. hmmm if i had the money, i would go travel. i will go japan or somewhere. and it's 2 weeks left before i go tekong. hmmm actually i'm actually quite looking forward to going to tekong, as it'll be a brand-new experience, in a new place, with a new lifestyle. oh well, it might not, and probably will not, turn out as easy and carefree as what i'm thinking right now, but it'll be a good experience, i guess.

and i'm playing soccer tml! yay =) i hope everything goes fine and we'll have a good game.

i'm extremely tired right now. grr...
oh yes, weixuan asked me, or rather, i volunteered to translate the lyrics of kobukuro's "koko ni shika sakanai hana" and it was actually the first time i'm looking so closely at the lyrics, and it still stuns me, how it touches my heart so deeply. it's definitely one of my favourite japanese songs.

sometimes i wonder, why am i working so hard right now?
at first, it was for the experience, and partly for the money. i was very determined at the start that i'll get into a japanese university, so i'll need lots of money. but now, my parents are asking me to apply for a local university, because they are afraid that i might not get into a japan university. but i'm really reluctant to do so, because i don't want myself to get really undecided in the end.
what was the reason i didn't want to take s paper? what was the reason why i chose a path so different from everyone else?
i had a dream, i wanted to fufil my hopes. i never wanted any distractions to direct me off the my dream path, that's why i didn't want s papers. i didn't want SATS. i didn't want to do anything that will tempt me to do something that will destroy my dreams. even if i don't get into a japan uni, i'll never get into one in europe or america. i'd rather take the examination again the next year. if i don't get into a university, it's ok. i'll try again. i'll try until one day, i'll get in.
that is how strongly i believe in myself, which, well, might end up destroying my own future. ppl have been telling me that i'm in rj, so i'm at the cream of the crop and stuff like that. things like i'll grow to become a future leader... things like i'm meant to do something BIGGER, and destined to become a great person. but i don't want all these. if i could choose, i'd rather lead a simple live, or rather, an ideal one in my point of view. i'll be happy with that.

anywayyy, i met iwakiri and her daughter todayy. so cute! we waved each other good bye!

alright good night. im tireddd...

meet the botaks

2006-03-13T09:25:00.000+08:00

yesterdayy was supposed to be a botaks outing, but it was seriously modified cuz yanhan couldn't make it in the end, and we had to change ALL our plans (cuz we were supposed to stay over at his house) but anyway, i met up with boss for the first time in a long while at his house. sick i tink he's dam fit and strong now. in fact all the botaks are very tanned and fit now! sickassses... but anyway we then went for dinner at dhoby ghaut with junhan (the commando!), and den met sk at ps. we wanted to watch a movie but it was saturday night and all the tix were sold out. so we were left with the choice of renting/buying dvds and watching it at someone's house. we then went to boss's house to stay over. haha we bought some dvds, but we ended up not watching them cuz everyone was very tiredd, esp our commando who jus booked out that afternoon, and will be booking in the next night. so then we all went to sleep before 1am. ohh i slept in the living room on his sofa, and surprisingly it was supercomfortable!

and the next morning, we had breakfast at some prata shop in serangoon and guess who we met! we met the most well-known soccer personnel in singapore---- fandi ahmad! omg he went with his wife,children and some of his relatives. and there were 8 kids! we were dam jealous cuz we wanted to play soccer but didn't have enough ppl. and their family alone can play 4 on 4! wahlauuuuuuz... and all the kids were wearing jerseys, with their names printed behind., so cool! we wanted to go challenge them hahaha. ohh and fandi ahmad must be dam happy, cuz his team- young lions, drew with ALBIREX NIIGATA with a last min goal. grrrr.... it's ALBIREX OKAY. HOW CAN THEY DRAW???? THEY SHOULD HAVE GET THRASHED 3-0 OR SOMETHING.

hahaha okay i've got to go for work! ohh i'm working 7 days a week this week! ie everyday!! cuz everyone's not available, which brings my concern, cuz i'll be leaving in a few weeks' time. den when i leave, who's going to take up my space? not that i'm very important, but there must be someone who is able, or willing to work everyday right... oh and i'm working on sunday morning! cool! i love weekend mornings. =) cuz they are quiet and peaceful! sunday morning lovers!

one thing i'll miss

2006-03-13T08:55:00.000+08:00

one thing i'll miss when i leave bongout is..... THE KIDS!!!

omg i reallyy love seeing the small japanese kids come to the restaurant, even though most of the time, they will take some time to order, and it'll be very confusing and all cuz we have to take orders separately for individual families. and the kids will need small bowls to eat their ramen (90% of the kids eat ramen btw), and they'll kope all our bowls, causing bowl-deficiency. and they'll spill the water, noodles all over the place. and the worst thing is, they never finish their food! they'll leave 50% of the pork in their noodles. as most of them eat shoyu ramen, which contains some funny dried vegetables-like stuff, so the kids will leave them in their bowls too. and then, most of the kids will read books (comics) after their meals, so it's quite hard to judge whether they have finished their food. and some of the kids will talk a lot after their meals, and it's quite interesting to hear them talk! cuz the way they talk is dam cuteeeee!

ohh there's this little boy who speaks with many "sa"s... ok those ppl who don't know japanese may not know what it means. but i tink the way he speaks is very cutee! blah blah blah saaa... blah blah blah tte saaa.... ahh so cuteee!
den there's rika chan! hahaha ok i know it's quite biantai to go remember the kids' names, but they kept calling her, and she was sitting at the counter (right in front of us) yesterdayy. so it left a deep impression.
and then... there's the small girl with cute eyes and loooooooong eye lashes. omg she's going to grow into a big beauty (da mei nu!).. i've only seen her once though. then there's nanami! whose family are our regular customers.
and there's the small girl who stares at ppl with her big eyes! and she's very shyyy too.
and then there's iwakiri's daughter! haha her mother likes to drink heineken! (tink she's the only customer who buys our heineken!) hahaha.
and then there are so so so many cute kids which i can't differentiate. haha but they are just so cute!

smile once more

2006-03-09T12:31:00.000+08:00

have u ever felt that you have forgotten how it is like to smile, to get angry, to cry? have u ever felt that you have lost all the emotions a normal being is entitled to? i've found a cure to it, and just re-assured that soccer is it! having lost my emotions for a long long time, having not get worked-up over something for a long long time, i finally rediscovered my ability to scream and shout in frustration, in despair, in exasperation. Everytime i watch soccer, especially in a match where i want a particular team to win, i feel all my emotions pouring out. last night, while watching the champion's league match between arsenal and real madrid, i could feel the exasperation. i can never find this feeling anywhere else. i can never get this worked up over something that is going on thousands of miles away, and something that i cannot do anything about to change it. but i still inevitably show the weaker side of me.

it was rather disappointing to see Real Madrid crash out of the Champion's league, but it was more disappointing to see such a lacklustre effort put up by them. this morning's match could be the last match i'll be watching, cuz soon, i'll be locked up in some forbidden island to the east of singapore.

i still remember four years ago, when we were in japan, we saw thousands of people crying on the night of 18th june, when japan was eventually knocked out of the world cup by turkey. it was one of those nights i won't forget. and it goes to show once again that soccer brings tears to even the toughest men on earth. Or should i say passion? although i probably won't be able to catch the japan national team in action in this year;s world cup, i swear i will be behind them again, four years later, to go through everything with them, to show once again, through our teary eyes, how passion brings emotions, and creates emotions out of a person who has once lost all of his.

epilogue

2006-03-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

RJ has a japanese food stall, Subway and an ATM machine. wow... i was especially amazed by the ATM machine. haha and robin's exaggerated reaction when he saw it. amazing amazing stuff. soon we'll have pool and arcade in RJ.

but anyway, when i went bAck to collect results yesterday, i met many ppl. Oh well, not that i know many ppl, but i met most of those ppl whom i know. Thankfully most of them still recognize, or rather see me as a friend and at least smile at me. Of course there were a few others who don't know me anymore. I'm really glad that most of my juniors still remember me, and bothered to come forward to talk to, or at least sms me. The hostility I expected wasn't to be seen, which was truly something that comforts me. I enjoyed all the smiles and happiness and friendliness that day, even though it only lasted the few hours i was there, and a few hours later, now, everything's been reverted to normal- nobody to sms, no one to talk to online and blah blah blah.

I thought of this issue for very long and once, i came out with an explanation to solve my doubts. I concluded that everyone has their own lives and circle of best friends; it just happened that I'm not in any of them. I might have become a little more optimistic about it now, but everything i turn around to see nothing but my shadow, i'll ruminate about this funny theory and think, "maybe it's true after all."

My angel once told me, "we should be grateful that our lives crossed. our fate might not last for the rest of our lives, we might not stay as friends forever, but it'd be enough. We might eventually become mere passers-by of each other's lives, crossing and staying at each other's lives just for a brief moment."
I know it's true, but i never expected it to be especially true in my life, as i see friends come, friends go. Sometimes i regret not treating them better after they left, sometimes i'm glad i've done my best as a friend, but as they leave eventually, i'll always be questioning my real view of friendship, and whether they should have deserved slightly more than the "best" which i thought i had given.

I'd like to bring out a quote by myself four years ago. it was nothing more than a casual remark then, but i feel it time and time again, its true meaning, and even till now, i get touched by the immense emotions involved in the short phrase.

"This is the end of our story, but the epilogue shall continue forever."
Four years ago, when we left Japan in tears, that was exactly what was in my mind, and which was what became my motivation to do miracles, and to grow stronger. Now, all of us have our own lives and we have moved on since then. But all of us have, in one way or another, been affected by the whole "story". and many of us are fighting on in this epilogue of the "story". and so we'll be fighting on forever in this never-ending epilogue.

Alevels

2006-03-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

I am glad with my results. =D

I am happier for the results my japanese class got. SIX (possibly seven) out of TWELVE people got A for japanese. That's amazing. And from 75% As and Bs to 92% As and Bs is unbelievable. Initially, we heard rumours from our juniors that only TWO people got A for japanese this time, and i knew it wasn't true. Because our class doesn't deserve that. Even if i were one of the two As, i wouldn't be happy, because it does not reflect the true standard of our japanese class. Now, this result does, thankfully. =) Our sensei will be happy to hear that, even though i didn't get to see him today. =(

I'm glad ,though still in doubt, that our batch achieved the best results in 25 years. I thought the "worst results in 25 years" would have been more possible, looking from how our teachers have always compared us with the previous batches, and showing the great difference in grades. Anyway, it's amazing to see about 6 out of 10, ie 3 out of 5 ppl, getting 4 As. Of course, i never failed to see sad faces as well, which i quickly turn away to avoid getting influenced by them.

Alright, so one large obstacle has been overcome. the next one is EJU! oh no i have a feeling that's going to be one tough hinderance to the road of success! help!

Engrish

2006-02-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

You are a STUDENT of the English language!

You are on your way to becoming

gramatically sound; however, you must keep

studying if you ever want to become a master.

You do manage to speak better than most

Americans, but then again, that's not really

saying too much. Keep studying, little

Student.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh sucks... this basically sums up how good my engrish is. haha.

result

2006-02-26T16:49:00.000+08:00

After reading through many people's blogs, i find out that 75.67% of them are very afraid, or at least not ready yet to recieve the Alevels results. Yes, neither am i! Why do we think so? Because we are Singapore, Singaporeans! We live up to the reputation of being muggers (for most of us, at least)- we study hard, and expect good results. Just a few weeks ago, I was told by my japanese friend that Singaporeans study too much. She's on attachment to NUS now, and she finds that the students there study everyday and have no life. Oh wells, i don't disagree with that, because most of us, really study too much. As for myself, i guess i should belong to the "study-ers" category.

And so, in just four days' time, our future will be decided, by that small piece of 10cm by 5cm result slip. I remember two years ago, when we were still small kids having fun at orientation, playing "silly games" (i never found those games silly actually), i started worrying about my Olevels results almsot since the first day of school, because i was never confident to do well enough to stay in RJ. But in the end, i did, so i was super happy. This time round, it'll be a totally different story. Two years ago, I had 9 subjects to be judged, and we only need to do well (ie get an A1) for just 6 subjects (minimum) in order to stay at RJ. But now, i only have FOUR subjects, plus GP to be judged, and i have to do well (ie get an A) for every single one, to be considered as "well done". So in some way, the expectations are a lot higher this time. SIGH. However, the truth is that, even if i have "done well", it might not get me where i want to be, because the path i chose is a lot different from what the rest chose. and so, in some way, you can say that i don't feel the pressure of having to do well in this examinations. but the truth, and reality is that, i STILL do feel the pressure, because it's going to be a fact that will affect my life, and stick to me throughout. also, it deals a great influence on my confidence level.

talking about recieving results, it's never a happy thing for me, not in the sense that i do badly though. So far (fingers crossed), i've performed beyond my own expectations and goals in the BIG examinations (ie PSLE and Olevels), so i never had to taste defeat in a sense. But i do remember in Primary SIX, after i got my psle results and was going home happily with my family, i saw terrible scenes of people crying and felt pangs of meloncholy overwhelming in me as i cold-bloodedly stride past them, not able to do anything about it. i guess the scenes are still stuck in my head, which formed my first image of the reality of collecting results. den for olevels, my friends were more or less satisfied, if not elated, about their results, so it wasn't as depressing as the first case. What will it be like this time round, i wonder?

From what i observe, there are three kinds of reactions after collecting results. The first one is what i call, expression of feelings. This is the most dramatic one, and perhaps the most common one. These people will express their feelings, be it jubilation or depression, on their faces and actions. They scream, shout, jump, cry, hug each other. (Sometimes when people cry and hug each other, it's hard to tell whether they are happy or sad.)This way of showing your feelings is probably the best, because it tells the people around you exactly how you did, so people don't have to go around asking people, or rack their brains guessing how you did.

The second kind of reaction is to remain emotionless (not totally though). This means that the expression on their face tells absolutely nothing about how they did. in some cases, it tells the opposite. most people with this kind of reaction are those who have high expectations of themselves. so when they do well, they aren't exactly too happy, because they have just reached their target. (and they don't usually NOT reach their targets) And they really see results as being "damn important", so if they actually do badly, it'll deal a serious blow to them. of course, another group of people w this kind of reaction are those bo-chap ppl who don't care abt their results, but so far, i haven't seen one person who doesn't care abt his results at all.

And then the third kind of reaction is that in between the first and second. They express their emotions, but in a milder and neutral manner. For example, if one does well, he'll smile and go around telling his good friends how he did. And if he does badly, he won't cry, but instead, will go around telling his friends, "oh no, i did badly!" This is probably the most cheerful and optimistic reaction, as the results do, in fact, affect them, but they don't let it affect them too extremely.

If, on a scale of 1-10, where 1 represents a reaction that is totally emotionless (ie the second case), and 10 represents a dramatic reaction (ie the first case), (therefore the third case will be at 5), i will probably belong to 2 (in the past), and 3(now), as i've learnt to become more optimistic about life. so i've learnt to not let results affect me too much.
So, on the scale above, where do you belong to?

Fire! Fire!

2006-02-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

Wow there was fire in the "jungle" opposite my house today! so cool! i just woke up and was using the computer when my brother was saying, "wah so much smoke, definitely a fire." at first, i thought he was just exaggerating so i didn't bother, but when i looked out of the window, i saw the severity of the smoke and i realized it might just be a fire! woahhhh... some cool stuff, my first time seeing fire! (actually we couldn't see fire, only lots of smoke coming out.) anywayy, den my younger bro went to call the fire station! so cool! i would like to call the "999" or "995" one day, not for the wrong reason though. so my brothers and i just stood and watch in awe the smoke rising up. and it got bigger and bigger and we had to close our windows. even then, ashes and soot kept coming into our house. it was crazyy! anyway, my description of the smoke sucks, so let my photos describe it!

This was how it started.

and got bigger...

and bigger.

from another view...

and another view.

The ashes got to the lifts, even though the wind blew from the other side. This shows the extent of the wind, which blew the soot AROUND the apartment, and into the building.

And then finally, the fire engines came.

Personality test

2006-02-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Chelsea 1 -2 Barcelona

2006-02-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

It was, as expected, an exciting encounter between the two Champions of England and Spain. Having seen Real Madrid slump to a shameful defeat to Arsenal at Santiago Bernabeu, I was glad to see Barcelona come up with a superb performance to keep out Chelsea's chances of proceeding to the next round, although all is not yet decided with the second leg yet to be played.

The first half was rather dull as both sides do not have many clear cut chances, probably due to the "potato slump" at Stamford Bridge. Tensions rose when Asier Del Horno was sent off for a horrible tackle on Lionel Messi. When i first saw the tackle, i thought that it must be a straight red card for the spaniard defender. But after watching the replays, it wasn't as bad as it first looked, and perhaps as the commendator has said, a yellow would have sufficed.

I haven't been seeing Barcelona play so this was probably the first time i saw the young Messie play. And i must say that he's indeed a young prospect to be watched, and i'm quite sure he will grow into a mature and outstanding striker in time to come. His acceleration, tipped with his determination is unbelievable, as he always races down the flanks to win balls, not giving up until he gets a crunching tackle. And his controlling skills are exquisite too, as clearly displayed when he got past Arjen Robben before being tackled by Del Horno. And then the most respectable thing about Messi is his calmness and composure. He never argues with referees or linesmen for offsides, throw-ins or fouls. He accepts them as referees' decisions, knowing that he will get both himself and his teammates into trouble if he goes up to the referee to try and change his decision. And these three traits are enough to bring him to fame in years to come.

Then there was Gaucho Ronaldinho, who was, as usual, magic. Despite having slips at times due to the slippery pitch, his dribbling was totally breath-taking, especially those near the touchlines down the flanks. OH my goodness, he evades defenders or challenges lightning-quick. He has the composure too. I'm always very impressed by how he stops and stands still, looks around for a while, before accelerating or passing. There was one incident which totally impressed me. He was controlling the ball as if it was stuck to his foot and even when Frank Lampard slided in to tackle him, Ronaldinho could dodge it and continue his run, leaving him in heaps. Also, the counter-attack that led to the second goal owed largely to Ronaldinho's vision and composure. He ran one-quarter of the field, evaded a sliding tackle effectively, and sent a through-pass to Larsson (was it him?), and Larsson, knowing that Marquez came up behind him, passed to him. After that, it all seemed destined for a goal, as Marquez swerved in a inch-perfect cross which eluded both Cech and a defender, as Samuel Eto'o hopped and knocked it into the net, and sent the Barcelona fans to cloud nine. Such is the influence of one mazy run from Ronaldinho, as well as, the through pass, the lazer-guided cross, and the deadly finish.

So now, the match two weeks later at Nou Camp looks promising as Chelsea looks to take revenge, while Barcelona will kick themselves if they were to lose this precious lead.

Real Madrid 0 -1 Arsenal

2006-02-22T13:10:00.000+08:00

Not that i really support any side, but i wanted Real Madrid to win. I wanted to see the real madrid i saw the previous time (ie in champions league last season). Even though they lost eventually and were eliminated in the round of 16, they performed much better than what i saw this morning (Singapore time). But the way they played was horribly childish, both in defence and in attack. The attack created zero clear-cut chances; the defence created a milion chances for arsenal. I don't understand why do the players stand still when a ball is played in from a freekick, or when a pass is made by the opposition. How are the strikers supposed to score if they stand still? And how are the defenders supposed to cut out attacks if they stand still? And they couldn't even pass properly . How, then, are they able to attack?

The only players i thought played a little better were Beckham, Robinho, Zidane, Cicinho and Casillas. And i thought the substitutions were crazy. they actually took out Robinho, when i thought ronaldo was the ineffective one. and what on earth was jonathan woodgate doing on the pitch when he's in injured? and he wasted one substitution (not like it'll make any difference actually.) Surprisingly, Beckham was the only "striker" who was running up and down the flanks, trying to spark life into the Real Madrid's attack. Zidane and Carlos no longer have the mutual understanding that i know of, though both of them were good (relatively) individually. Ronaldo didn't do much, partly cuz of the stubborn Arsenal defence, but still, he didn't even have any shots on target. And then there was Cicinho, whom i thought played well too, even though he was a defender. And when Raul came on, there wasn't much change either, much to my disappointment.

So they carry a one goal deficit to Highbury two weeks later. Hopefully they will play much better than wad they did, such that they can overcome the odds now to proceed on.

japanese feast.

2006-02-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

i had a unforgettable date today.

first, we went to plaza singapura to try out UZAP, IGALLOP and ISYMPHONY! so cool! it was so shiok! haha and the guy who was at the uzap was dam funnyyy, saying that he's same age as us when he looks 30 plus. but wad a pity they didn't allow us to take photos. the igallop is one piece of cool shyt but i din find it very useful actually. haha. and the salespersons actually asked us to buy it. haha can't they see that we are still students living off our parents!
n after that we went to eat japanese food at Ma Maison Restaurant, which serves a fusion of japanese and western cuisines. and the place is cool! very nice atmosphere, but a bit too dark to jonfang's liking. but still, it's a good place for dating, but a bad place for mugging. even so, there was a girl mugging in the restaurant. sick shit. anywayy i ordered the omuraisu; jonfang ordered the curry udon. and obviously, jonfang's food was more value-for-money than mine. (btw how i judge the worth of food is by quantity, not quality, so his had both udon and rice, whereas mine only has rice. unfair. and it's the same price.) but anyway it was niceeee!
here is it!

nice atmosphere.

a bit too dark for jonfang.

many nabes around.

and after that, still feeling dissatisfied, we went to boat quay, which was so cool and cooling, but we couldn't find any japanese restaurants, so we walked down the river (wow so romantic) to clarke quay, to YOYOGI!

hahaha we passed by there last night (c.f previous entry) but it was closed. so fang and i went there today. it's so cool! by the way im quite amused by the name, cuz in the city yoyogi in japan (which is next to shinjuku station), it is full of tuition centres, cram schools. so minzheng and i used to call it a paradise for muggers.

and then we ate the santen mori! which cost almost $30 and only had 15 pieces of sashimi- sake, maguro and mekajiki!

and next time we are going to drink shochu (but it's damn ex!) and im going to eat ochazuke and many many more! (before i go ns and eat shit) haha and we are going to en bar, and the neighbouring japanese restaurants sometime!

and so...

2006-02-19T00:34:00.000+08:00

liverpool beat man utd 1-0, thanks to peter crouch.

anywayyy that's not the main point. i met up with joel again todayy. and as usual, our topics revolved around national service. he complained to me abt how rubbishy it is, how tough it is and all the things i've heard an umpteenth time. but i don't get bored listening to them and i don't find it meaningless listening to them, because i guess all these complaints will go a long way in helping him cope with all the agony everyone in tekong is suffering. and then i thought, two months later, when it's my turn, who will i turn to when i want to seek solace. Then, people, who used to tell me all the stories and experiences they had, now have newer stories to share with each other. And I will turn to no one to share my experiences with.

This is what friends are for, to share our experiences with, share our joys and sorrows and in this case, sufferings. When we do badly for examinations, we just need someone to complain about it, we need someone to listen to our excuses, and not expecting any rebuttals. When we face difficulty in studies or other things we do, we need someone to listen to our difficulties.

One day, when i was walking to school, i saw interesting sights, of people, of sceneries. Then i wished there was someone whom i can tell about these sightings. As i flipped open my phone, and flipped through the phonebook, i realized there was no one to share with. So i closed my phone, and enjoyed by myself selfishly.

However insignificant these sightings or experiences may seem to be, if we could tell them to someone, it'll carry out a role that is irreplacable by anything. it forms part of the kizuna we have between each other. it gives us what connects friends, what differentiates friends from acquaintances. When there's no one around you to listen to your difficulties, it gets harder to get over with them.

When you run alone, you feel the emptiness, you realize that there's no one by your side to suffer with you, both physically and mentally. Giving up seems to be an option, and you will give up eventually. When you know that there's someone to complain to after your run, you push yourself harder, and you exceed what you thought you can do. That is the power of mental support, the power of camaraderie.

and so, nobody knows what will happen in the future, and the only thing we can do now is to predict, and wait to see if our guess was correct.

looong dayyy

2006-02-12T10:39:00.000+08:00

argh i was typing my entry halfway when i did something stupid and caused my comp to hang. so i went to sleep. so back here i am, good morning everyone!

talking abt yesterday, two gays went to kbox together, and sang love songs to each other. but jonfang likes to sing weird songs like bu pa bu pa by guomeimei. hahaha we sang a million songs. (i have a sore throat now. ahem) it's realyl tiring to go kbox with just one other person, u almost don't get any time to rest or go toilet. and then we sang duets but i concluded that we should ask at least one girl along to kbox next time so that we can sing duets with guy and girl. if not poor jonfang has to act as lara or xu ru yun or landy. which i know is very tiring. hahaha and when we sang impossible songs like shan hu hai, it was totally horrible! both of us couldn't reach the notes! but nevertheless it was fun.

anyway u noe we have to pay service charge. and what kind of service did we get??! the guy who came in to let us pay, when leaving, switched off the lights! omg we weren't even done with our singing and he turned off the lights and left us in the dark! haha maybe it was a prank, cuz we were really too noisy as we screamed (instead of singing) and disturbed the rest. but anywayy, we almost died from singing, ok at least I almost. so we decided to leave after our last song, whichi was TUO DIAO! yeaaa dam fun. we wanted to really take off our clothes, but then, there were ppl walking past occasionally. so we didn't dare. hahaha.

anywayyy on my way to work, something interesting happened. i took NEL from hougang to clarke quay. and when i was sitting in the train, i saw this girl sitting right opposite me. and it hit on me that she was someone i knew 4 years ago, but we lost contact since then. (Let's call her Y) Y and i knew each other through a common friend. but we weren't very close. so i didn't talk to her, and pretended to go to sleep. OK, i didn't really pretend, i was really very tired and was really going to sleep even if she wasn't there. so i went to sleep. den, while i was sleeping, i felt a vibration in my pants, so i took out my handphone and checked the msg. and it was from Y! hahaha omg i thought she wouldn't be able to recognize me cuz we haven't seen each other for 4 years and we lost contact like less than 1 month after knowing each other. so i was thinking, "ohno she recognized me." but i wasn't really in the mood to talk so i pretended to be sms-ing someone else. so she kept looking at me, and i didn't dare to look up. hahaha... but soon, at dhoby ghaut, she alighted from the train, to my relief. phew...... but anyway, i replied her in the end, and cooked up a story abt how i couldn't recognize her. (but she really changed a lot so everyone would believe even if i said i coudln't recognize her.)

so anywayy, i reached bongout (my workplace). and there was a madhouse last night. it was hella busy! but it wasn't the most tiring cuz we had sufficient staff to cope with the in-pouring customers. okay time to go bathe, gotta meet my class for class lunCh!

Random

2006-02-09T09:02:00.000+08:00

Oh my god. Shocking and bad news from soccernet. The first and most unbelievable one. "Zaragoza demolish Real Madrid 6-1 in King's Cup semi-final". What happened to the team that used to dominate the Spanish League and Champion's League? I guess this is one of the worst, if not the worst defeats ever of Real Madrid. How can they let Diego Milito smash in his hattrick by half time?! Oh man...

Next, Chelsea's 4-1 demolition of Everton in the FA Cup. Oh yes, Chelsea continues their blistering run of good form and are on track for their first title this season. Who can stop them? They are going to win the FA Cup, Premiership and whatnot, but maybe not the Champion's League, cuz they are going to meet mighty Barcelona and ACMilan. On the other hand, Liverpool just lost to Charlton in the EPL, so now Liverpool are 21 points behind leaders Chelsea, and Manchester United, in second place, are 15 points behind Chelsea. They are going to get the title if they continue their winning streak in the next eight games. How boring EPL is getting.

And the most hilarious news, Mido got a 6-month ban from the national team, for his stubborn actions on the pitch during the semi-finals of the African Cup of Nations. He was shocked by his coach's decision to take him off with 11 minutes left, and refused to get off the pitch. Egypt was held to a tie at 1-1 with Senegal when Mido was substituted. And when he finally left the pitch, he almost picked up a fight with his coach. And their exchange of words was hilarious.

Mido: Why are you taking me off??
Shehata (Egypt national team coach): Because I am your coach!
Mido: You are nothing but a donkey!
Shehata: You are the donkey!

Hahaha. oh my goodness, so childish. Apparently Mido was ineffective on the pitch for the 88 minutes he was there. And the substitute who replaced Mido, Zaki, scored with his first touch on the pitch and sent Egypt through to the finals to meet Ivory Coast.

Alright this entry is super random.

BACKBACKBACK~!

2006-02-07T21:41:00.000+08:00

yayyy my comp is finally ALMOST back to normal! the sound device is back and i can start watching my dramas and listening to my songs again!!! but ALMOST, because i still can't type japanesE! grrr.... but never mind, wad's important right now is that i can start watching my dramas again.

Shuuji to Akira! i tink they are one cool couple in nobuta!

WHAT AM I DOING

2006-02-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

what am i doing. todayy is terrible. i have wasted half my day and am going to waste the next half of my day away too. So, what have i been doing so far? Nothing. Nothing at all! Can you believe it? All i did was 1) sleep, 2) go out for lunch, 3) surf the net (ie reading blog entries i've already read, over and over again). In simpler terms, i have done NOTHING today. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. what kind of life is this? Why am i here, when the rest of the world is either at school, at work, or somewhere with friends. arghh i can't go back to sleep again cuz i've already slept A LOT just now. i can't eat anymore cuz i've eaten A LOT just now. i can't go out too cuz i've already spent A LOT of money on transport just now. i can't surf the net anymore cuz all the surf-able sites, or rather, all the sites i frequent, would not have been updated so quiCkly cuz i've just checked them out just now. So wad should i do now?

A Day at Work

2006-02-06T10:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, after visiting my "dunno-how-to-call" relative's house, i went straight to work. Still languid from the hyper chingay performance the night before, I literally dragged my feet to work. argh... but it was a good day, cuz i've got visitors AGAIN! yayy... i haven't had one in a long long time. I like surprises! cuz they make my boring life exciting, even if it's for a moment. Xixun and Wenhan came to the restaurant to buy books! =) Haha just realized wenhan was in sheralyn's junior class. so she must know daniel poh too! Even though they left shortly after that, it made me feel that at least there's someone who still knows of my existence. And then, a pretty n stylish lady came to the restaurant! haha that was another energy boost.

Then it was one of our restaurant's longest-working staff's last day. cuz sylvia is leaving for australia for studies. hmmm... i felt that i could understand her feeling, and i was feeling happy for her. cuz i know that, sometime, someday two years later, i will be feeling the same way. How i look forward to that day. It will be different from the two immersion programmes i've been involved in, where there will be friends tagging along; there will be friends to talk to, laugh together, and sharing the same experience. Then, it will be different because I will be all alone, going all on my own, both physically and mentally. Guess i won't be as lucky to have people sending me good wishes, and as i leave this place for good, I would have no choice but to leave everything behind me, and start all over again. Oh well, it's still too early to think about such stuff, cuz there's still TWO MORE YEARS.

It will be one of the toughest paths in my life during these two years, not only in the sense that i will be in the army, but in the sense that, it's all up to me now, to remain mentally strong, stay true to myself, and constantly reminding myself what i have been working so hard for. If the worst thing were to happen, it would be that i have lost my interest, and thus my fighting spirit, and then wasted all the years i've come through thus far. It would be the most tragic ending.

Fight-oh! Fight-oh!

Chingay Part 2

2006-02-06T09:35:00.001+08:00

Ahh chingay was over at this time yesterdayy. anyway chingay was damn fun! woohoo!! it was like a marason taikai* along orchard road. as expected, there were more ppl than the preview and the atmosphere was better, in the sense that both the participants and the spectators were more enthusiastic. and i finally memorized the lyrics of the song so that i could sing along while dancing, instead of dancing without moving the mouth, which would look very weird. yeaaa COOL!

but the saddest thing was that.... OUR PERFORMANCE WAS DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK. THIS IS THE MOST ANTICIPATED PERFORMANCE OF ALL (haha okay maybe not, but still, this is the BIGGEST CONTINGENT EVER.) AND DO THEY KNOW HOW MANY PPL THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED BY PUTTING OUR PERFORMANCE DURING COMMERCIAL BREAK. =( =(

but the sad thing apart, i was just glad to be happy for at least the duration of the chingay period, especially nowadays when i feel upset abt many stuff. but then again, after chingay, there will be nothing else left for me to look forward to! SIGH... and life reverts back to the suCky one i had. sucks... actually i kind of agree with jonfang (c.f http://redfoxes.diary-x.com) that i felt like cancelling dvd order cuz there weren't many scenes of ourselves. hahaha. but then again, it brings back good memories, so why not?

Good memories, like these.

From left. Ikekami Aya, Wakana, Me, Ikekami Toru
Yes, you're right, the two ikekamis are siblings. N they are reallyy nice ppl! i wish i could keep in contact with them. =(

Our first friend made during chingay. Ikekami Toru!

V6! and the guys. Haha..

V6 again! and the girls. The girls wanted to take photo with them so much, so jonfang and i approached them. To my surprise, they were very friendly!

Chingay Part 1

2006-02-06T09:35:00.000+08:00

I put the title as Chingay Part 1 because im quite sure there'll be a part 2 after tonight. Anyway talking abt last night's performance, it was GREAT! haha but there were much less spectators than i expected. after the last performance point (at centre point), there weren't any spectators anymore! Hmm maybe it's cuz it's not the ACTUAL one yet. (Maybe it's Maybelline) Although this year's route is 3/4 of last year's (cuz there were FOUR performance points last yr compared to THREE this year), we took as long to parade as last year! For your info, we took ONE WHOLE HOUR. oh my goodness. and it was soso tiring jumping around and cheering up the crowds, who just sit there and stone and stare at you. How enthusiastic. And i conclude that the only enthusiastic ones were the angmohs who will wave and smile at you, and maybe small kids.
But one sad thing is that we kept getting stuck at certain points so we had to keep dancing on the spot even though it wasn't the performance point yet. And the spectators who were watching den must have gotten bored watching us perform over and over again.

Oh and the hosts this year don't seem as good! (I don't know who they are though.) Maybe they aren't the actual hosts (for tomorrow) but i found that their chinese sounded like wad some ppl in my sec sch would speak. hahaha. (no offence) and at the third performance point, while we were dancing, the commendator suddenly just blurted out "kawaii!" hahaha omg i bet all of us were shocked and giggling to ourselves. I saw some of the nanyang poly ppl behind me laughing and shaking heads too. hahaha so random.

Oh! and quite many ppl were amazed by my hair. Haha particularly this group of (malay?) boys who kept waving at me and pointing at my hair and showing the (Y) sign. and of course, there were ppl who just burst out laughing. grr, hope they were stunned by my ahead-of-time fashion sense, and not mocking at my stupidityy..

Okay, a picture says a thousand words. Photos!

Jonfang and I, with makeup, before putting on costume. (Oh and i actually prefered last year's makeup! but i prefer this year's costume cuz it's more cooling!)

Ryan, Me, Liheng. That's our costume!

R-A-F-F-L-E-S

This is a lousyy photo with a lousyy formation cuz we took it in a rush. Btw, the three ladies are the singers and the guy (Mickey!) was the one who wrote the music. He's one cool guy!

Korean GIRLS. i like their traditional costumes! AND The korean girl grabbed jonfang's hands! UNFAIR......

BUT nevermind, i got the korean guys. hahahaha...

And the cool african troupe-like ppl! hahaha compare jonfang and the guy beside him. (the skin colour, that is.)

Quote of the Day

2006-01-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

Yayy, today is a happy day, well quite, considering how monotonous my life is. guess wad! there was this small cute girl todayy at the restaurant. she kept looking and smiling at me, so i kept looking back and smiling back at her! and when she was leaving with her family, i waved goodbye to her, and she went hiding behind her mother's back! haha so cutee! oh well, maybe she was afraid that i might kidnap her or something. anwyayy i hope she comes again! =D

anywayyyy....... that's not the main point/highlight of the day. after working for more than 2 months, i've been asked many questions or commented by many customers and none of the comments were as interesting as today's.

I was at the cashier, reading a customer's order sheet so that i can key into the cashier registry, but the order sheet was very messy and so i decided to confirm with him his order. However, i couldn't tell whether he was Japanese or Singaporean, so i decided to follow my instinct...

Me: eeto, mouichido chuumon wo kakunin itashimasuga, tonkatsu setto hitotsu to.... (by then, i realized that he looked confused, so he must be a Singaporean, so i changed to English)Oh, you ordered a tonkatsu set and a dinner set right?
Him: Yes. Hey you speak good english!
Me: Oh haha I'm Singaporean.
Him: Oh you speak good Japanese then!

Wow for the first time in my life, i was told that i speak good english! hahaha for all my life (at least in sec sch and jc), i've never gotten more than a C for my english! (with the exception of moderation, of course)

Show me the meaning of being lonely

2006-01-31T09:04:00.000+08:00

You know you're lonely when...

1) You are about to sms someone, and find out that there's no one in your contact list whom you can sms.
2) You come online, and find out that out of the 85 ppl on the msn list, there are only less than 3 ppl to talk to.
3) You leave the class for breaks alone, and go for lessons when the rest of the class goes for break.
4) You choose a school, and finds out that all your other friends have gone to other schools together.
5) You come to a school, and finds out that everyone else have cliques.
6) Your good friends have other friends whom they are closer to.
7) You stay at home while all your other friends have gone to NS.
8) You meet up friends who have all gone through BMT, and they talk about stuff which you do not understand.
9) You continue with your NS when your friends have all completed theirs.
10) You realize that your dreams may all be gone just because of a silly decision made.
11) You are poor at making friends and do not mix well with others.
12) You are about to enlist into NS with a bunch of people you do not know.
13) You wake up to find out that the rest of the family is out, and that you are alone.
14) You do not know what to do for the rest of the day, and wastes it stoning all the day long.
15) You ask friends to go out, and get rejected because they have dates.
16) You want to go out, but realize there's no one to ask, so you end up going out alone, or staying at home to stone.
17) You find out that people whom you thought were your good friends, do not really see you as their good friends.
18) You always choose a different path from your friends, and end up separated from them.
19) You end up talking to yourself because there's really no one to talk to.
20) You write a blog entry like this.

second day!

2006-01-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

yoohoo today's the second day! it was kinda disappointing in terms of hongbao collection cuz when we went to my mother's cousin's house todayy, there were only a few ppl! unlike every other year, where there will be many many many ppl. so that explains our grand collection of SIX hongbaos (shared among me and my brothers) todayy.. in other words, a pathetic TWO hongbaos per person todayy! how sad! anywayy photos again!

This was taken at my mother's cousin's place! sunflowers! hahaha so cool.

Same place, but at the swing. Refer to the previous entryy. It's the same swing! Haha we intend to take similar photos every year in the same positions (ie our sitting positions)

Haha i like this photo! we took this cuz my brother wanted a photo with white blackground so that he can edit it using photoshop.

Yup that's all folks! Jonfang! tell us abt ur hongbao collection adventures!

my hundredth entry!!

2006-01-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY! the song sung by FIR, STephanie sun, and mayDAY. nice song (:

anyway that's not the point. it's chu yi! well, like every other year, a million ppl came to my house today. haha plus a few naughty nephews who cannot control but havoc at my place. haha we are used to it anywayy. hmm let me see, FIVE nephews and ONE niece! haha two of my nephews are around my age, so i don't really see them as my nephews but "cousins" instead. den the other three terrors and one princess! anywayy as usual, we were playing cards while getting our cards stepped on. den when my two brothers went to take a nap, i had to deal with the two terrors who ransacked my room, threw toys n books around, and ran all over me. omg.. wad a terror. haha luCKily there was my little princess. (she's called jovin btw).
and that's her! =)

hehh for your information, my father is the best! he spends SO MUCH effort in making decorations, cooking and doing all the housework with my mother every year, in fact every week. haha so for example, this year, which is the dog year, he made a dog out of magazine pages!last year, the chicken year, he made a chicken! and the best was the dragon year, he actually spent a few nights making a dragon!! too bad we didn't take a photo of it then. =(

As a tradition, my brothers and i take photo every year during cny! hmmmm this MIGHT be the third last cny with my family before i go japan!
This was the year of the monkey! (there's a monkey face at the back!)

This was the year of the ROOSTER (oops not chicken), ie last year. can u see the rooster at the back! (if u're wondering, we are holding pens cuz my bro's an extreme pen-spinner!)

This was taken at my.... mother's cousin's place (wad do u call a mother's cousin???)

This is the year of the DOGGIE! (with sunglasses on!)

Another photo. (with caps on!)

chinese new year!

2006-01-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

yayy chinese new year is finally here! hmmmmmm one thing i must say abt chinese new year this year is that it doesn't feel like it at all! firstly cuz the life during cny and my daily life now have no difference! hmmm i hope this year will be a good and SAFE year for mE~ esp after i enlist and become a soldier! oh and i realized one SAD FACT... initially, i thought that my classamate, hengliang and I are the only two losers in my class who are not enlisting in january. but just now, i was talking to him online, and i found out that he's already enlisted cuz he called up cmpb to request for earlier enlistment. so now, i'm the only loser from my class who hasn't enlisted. =( i'm going to stand out from my class when we go back to collect results. =(

anyway, i used to complain that i don't recieve sms-es wishing me happy new year or wadeva during festive seasons. but this year, i've recieved quite a few!, whcih is supposed to be a happy thing for me. however, i have recieved 3 sms-es from unknown numbers so far! omg, so weird... i wonder who are these people. i'm suspecting that these people were my friends last time. and then they dumped me. so i deleted their numbers, but now they are sending the template "happy chinese new year! blah blah" message to everyone on that contact list, so maybe that's why i recieved it too.

i went to eat my reunion dinner just now. and like every year, we go to my BIG aunt's house. yeahh she's really big in the sense that she's already a grandmother! and her grandsons (ie my nephews) are around my age! and like every year, the tv shows suck! there's no proper show to watch! there was the superstar concert which my brothers and i wanted to watch, but the rest of the ppl were watching this funny but meaningless chiense show on channel 8, so we had no choice but to watch. hahaha the show is quite funny actually.

okie okie, there are finally decorations in my house. i can slowly feel the qi fen already! but there's still no one to talk to online! argh. so sad! and the audio device/driver/wadeva u call it isn't working. so i can't watch my dramas/shows. =(=(

sayuri

2006-01-28T01:17:00.000+08:00

heheheheh so happyy. after so many weeks without any friends to go out with/ to talk to/ to sms (other than to work and for chingay), i finally went out with my friends! so happyy! i was quite worried that all my frens in the ns will be to busy/tired to go out together and we'll soon lose contact, or before we could finalize a date to go out, ns will be over and i'll be leaving.

although there were only three of us today (cuz the rest are in BMTC School 2 who will be booking out only tomorrow), it was still a nice gathering. =) i was so desperate to go out with them! hehehe... anyway we met each other for the first time since we last went out (which was the last time i went out), which was... 28th dec! hehe yanhan n junhan are both botak now! so cool i wan to be like them soon! and i heard many many stories abt ns from them. (anyway, digressing a bit, daniel poh is in the hospital cuz he was feeling unwell =(....) hehe yanhan is in tekong (same as me) while junhan is in commando. and both of them had different stories to tell. firstly, junhan's palm was full of blisters! omg, it was quite scary honestly. cuz they did the soc (standard obstacle course) today and they had to keep doing until they could complete it. and junhan was stuck at the monkey swing where he did so many times that his hands bled. sad casee. sigh! anyway, then they were telling me how they could do 5 pull ups at first. but after all the vigorous n monstrous trainings they had, the number of pull ups they could do reduced to zero. yeah which wasn't surprising, considering how they have no time to recover and all that. anyway NS stories are told and retold, so it isn't that interesting after some time. i have to experience it myself! (argh honestly i don't want to)... haha and according to yanhan, "u look forward to booking out everytime u book in." haha so NS is all about booking out!

ps. jonfang, have fun in ndu! tell us stories when u come out! hahaha
pps. can someone tell me the meaning of "ps" and "pps"?

anyway we went for steamboat! (in a long long time) hehe we used to go steamboat together! ahh all the good old times. hmmm and the two NS men kept talking abt NS and left me alone. =( but never mind! it's kindof like a preview for me before i enter! hehe and commandos are going for airborne tests where they have to jump off the planes!! so exciting! haha but a no-thanks for me cuz i'm afraid of heights. =S ohhhh and there were fireworks!

hmm and one thing we observed today is that most ppl who were at marina south were jc studnets! most of them were having OG outings! (all good old times!)and the two NSmen were envious of the lives they had before entering the army. haha. i would be, too. and then junhan was telling us, cuz he shares his bunk with 5 other ppl, and all the other five ppl have girlfriends! hahaha so every night during "Admin time" (wad a weird name), the other five ppl will be sms-ing/calling their girlfriends! hahaha i foresee myself doing that too! therefore i shouldn't bring my handphone in, it's kinda risky, cuz from scouts, i've learnt that the less things u bring in, the less trouble u're likely to cause for yourself. anyway i'll have no one to call/sms! haha maybe my family.

so anyway, argh kept getting distracted by the ns stories i heard, after steamboat, we went to watch "sayuri" (aka memoirs of a geisha) at lido! hmmm oh well, my comments abt the movie: it was GOOD! really, i liked it. maybe cuz it's about japanese culture, and i was very interested in it. haha not geishas, but the holistic idea of the geisha culture. BUT, some things i have to say about the movie. FIRSTLY, why did they speak in ENGLISH????? it made the whole story seem so fake. cuz the small kids can't possibly speak such fluent english, especially when the story took place so long ago. SECONDLY, it makes it seem so weird cuz they speak english and A LITTLE BIT of japanese. like "moshi moshi.... oh blah blah blah (in english)" or "gomen kudasai... okaasan, please blah blah blah (in english)" SO WEIRD!

but anyway, now that i've watched the movie, i know the story! so now i can read my "sayuri" novel with greater ease (although it's still v hard to understand the language they use) yay it's chinese new year eve!

"Geishas do not become geishas to pursue their destinies. They become because they have no choice."

wrong number!

2006-01-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

bah i'm bored bored bored!!! anyway this is the second consecutive entry in a row today! haha it's going to be about a funny incident tt took place last night at my cousin's house!
Question: You recieve an sms from an unknown number, asking you funny questions. Obviously, you don't know the person and it's very likely that someone has sent the message to you by mistake. At this point in time, what would you do?

a) Ignore the message.
b) Reply the message, telling the person that he/she has gotten the wrong number.
c) Reply the message, and scold the person.
d) Reply the question in the message.

If one is not mentally insane, he/she would probably choose option a) or b). Me, being a sane person, would normally do the action as suggested in option a. However, last night, after being tormented by boredom, i decided to be cheeky and chose option d.

In a normal scenario, the person who has messaged you by mistake would probably realize it after a while. This is so because the person has most probably i)keyed in the wrong number by mistake, or ii)sent to the wrong person in his/her phonebook in the handphone.

Interestingly, the person who messaged me last night seemed to have thought that my number is his/her friend's number. This is evident in her subsequent replies as i corresponded with him/her. The conversation was as follows:

+659276****: what time do you normally reach sch in the morn?
Me: 7am.
+659276****: Really? dun bluff. wad time do u leave hse?
Me: Around 630.
+659276****: let's meet at the same place tmr with naz and faz. n go crazy like today! Woohoo!
Me: yea! crazy like jus now! let's go clubbing!
+659276****: so hepi ar. u haf to meet with naz, walk with her, joke with her... (followed by a series of text full of acronyms which i couldn't understand)
Me: ok set. play kite. how abt david? ........... (i then entered a series of text that makes no sense.)
+659276****: what on earth are u saying? (in reply to my nonsensical text)
Me: (after feeling bored frm this senseless correspondence) i tink u got the wrong number.
+659276****: huh wad do u mean? (obviously she still thinks that she's got the right no.)
Me: Sorry, but who are you?

And our interesting conversation ended there. HAHAHA... so funnyyy!!! my cousin and i were laughing so hard! hahaha...

change

2006-01-22T11:34:00.000+08:00

yo everyone (ie no one), i'm starting a new blog with jonfang at younothingme.blogspot.com so come visit us! don't worry, this blog still exists. maybe i'll use this blog when i feel like typing in japanese, and i'll use the other when i'm going to type in english. yup yup.

survey

2006-01-14T07:33:00.000+08:00

01. Time you started: 7:33am

03. Nicknames: Depyon... haishya? (given by myself haha)
04. Height: (176 plus minus 1) cm....
08. Sex: ~~never~~ Male
09. Birthday: 7th june (no one remembers it anw =[)
10. Zodiac Sign: gemini
11. Location: Singapore (body), Japan (heart)
12. Birth Place: Singapore (can't remember the hospital name)
13. Hair Color: black
14. Eye Color: black

*The CRUSH Side*
15. Girlfriend/Boyfriend?: ?? what is this question asking? i dun have either.

*The PAST Side*
16. What age would you go back to?: i wish i could go to age 21 or something, where i'm in japan. sigh.
18. Memory you miss most: hmm till now, sec2/3 immersion programmes, j1 immersion programme. times i spent with the nihonjins, 2-7 ppl.
20. Memory you would like to forget: the sad times in sec1,2 (of cuz there were much more happy times then)
22. What'd you do yesterday: for a moment i can't recall... hmm oh yes, i visited the japan embassy.
24. Last person you talked to on the phone: erm my mother?
25. Last thing you said: konayuki
27. Last song you listened to: konayuki

*The FAVORITE Side*
28. Food: japanese food
29. Drink: soya bean, green tea, water, etcetera
30. CD: my dear dramas
31. Emotion: spiritually dead. looking forward to chingay prac later tho..
32. Color: no fav colour
33. Day Of The Week: sigh, when there was still school, i used to look forward to wed, thurs and fri(for weekdays) cuz those were the short or/and days with japanese lessons.
34. Month: June. all my happy memories happened then.
35. Season: probably winter, but it doens't make a difference if i'm still here.
36. Holiday: school holidays i suppose, but i'm no longer a student. >.<
37. Cookie: i dun like such stuff, i'll get sorethroat easily.
39. Ice Cream: -same as above-
40. Candy Bar: -same as above-
41. TV Channel: fuji tv
42. Shampoo/Conditioner: no fav, but i'm using palmolive at the moment.
43. Song: all the japanese songs i have and i don't have. =)

*PEOPLE YOU KNOW Side*
44. Friends: i don't have many now. =(=( so i can't answer the next few questions.
48. Loudest: N/A
47. Silliest: N/A
49. Best at keeping secrets: N/A
50. Most likely to be a stripper: N/A
51. Sweetest: N/A
52. Weirdest: N/A
53. Most hyper: N/A
54. Most annoying: N/A

*The BELIEVE OR NOT Side*
55. Aliens: nopeee...
56. Heaven and Hell: nopeee...
57. God: nope
58. Yourself: yeah, that's the only person i can believe in..

*The HAVE YOU EVER Side*
59. Been on a plane: yup!! (japan!!!)
60. Cried in public: hmmm... secretly, maybe yes. u noe, those kind where no one else notices.
61. Climbed a tree: yup, during scouts activities.
62. Ate A Worm: yuCK, no.
63. Kissed a guy/girl: no.
64. Met a celebrity: yup.. not many compared to my other friends though.
65. Met the president: yeah, during rally day (scouts) and i shook hands with him in sec3 (or was sec2?) during president's challenge!
66. Been scared to get a shot: yeah
67. Watched New Years Eve celebrations in every time zone in one day?: i wish i could do that in the GMT+7:00 hours (ie japan time zone!)
68. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: wad's that.
69. Gone skinny dipping: nope. i dun even go swimming tt often.
70. Skipped school: never. (no blue/pink/white slips!) oh i've ponned one math lecture in j1 before, but that's all.

*WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR*
71. Bill Clinton: the joke two entries ago! (haha!)
72. Lollipops: sucking.
73. Dreams: mostly sad ones.. =(
74. Love: sadness
75. Whipped Cream: macha parfait at bongout
76. South Park: vulgarities.
77. Christina Aguilera: -nothing- i don't really know western celebrities. trying asking japanese ones.
78. Guys: myself
79. Girls: no one
80. Death: scared

*The WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER Side*
81. Dog/Cat: ~~either~~.. neither
82. Blue/Purple: blue
83. Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate.
84. Pen/Pencil: pen.. ahh which reminds me of the pencil i got from my host's classmate in sapporo, it's still in my pencil box which i haven't touched since alevels!

*The QUESTIONS THAT DON'T MATTER, BUT I'M STILL ASKING Side*
85. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: no. i sleep alone with my pillow n bolster.
86. When is the last time you showered: yesterday..
87. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: i don't wan to be a crayon >.<
88. How many buddies do you have on your buddie list?: nil
89. Do you like this survey: yes, especially when i'm bored n lonely like i'm always.
90. One pillow or two, cotton or feather?: one big one small. cotton.
91. How long are you in the shower: five minutes.
92. How do you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup: wad's that.
93. What does your name mean?: god of wine.
94. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop: wad's that again.
95. What occurs once in a second, twice in one hour, and never in three hundred years?: hmm good question, let me think about it.
96. Finished: 7.58am

1. Spell your name backwards: sinned (that's wad i am)
2. Where do you live?: ~~singapore~~ japan!!(in a few years time)
3. Describe yourself in 4 words: sad lonely kanashikute sabishii
4. Who is your worst enemy?: myself, really.
5. If you could have any animal, what would it be?: still human.
6. What is the latest you've ever stayed up: dunno? 6am?
7. Ever been to Belgium?: nope. japan yes!!
8. What's your favorite coin?: japanese yen coins.

DESCRIBE YOUR
9. Wallet: i love my wallet.
10. Brush: N/A
11. Toothbrush: greeeen!
12. Jewelry worn daily: none, my contacts/spectacles?
13. Pillow cover: dunno, it changes every few weeks
14. Blanket: BIG, it's really big. it can cover my whole body.
15. Coffee cup: which is my cup.
16. sunglasses: uber cool. but it's actually my brother's.
17. Underwear: i have quite a few. which one you want me to describe?
18. Shoes: shared with my brothers.
19. handbag: dun have.
20. Favorite top: asahi! but it's a bit too small.
21. Favorite pants: jeans tt i always wear.
22. Cologne/Perfume: not using.
23. CD in stereo right now: no cd right now.
24. Tattoos: nil
25. Piercings: nil ( i'm a guai kia)
26. Wearing: white t-shirt plus blue shorts.
27. Hair: short (duh what other descriptions are there for a guy's hair) straight?.. oh but my hair's growing longer! =)
28. Makeup: nope.

WHAT/WHO (is/are)
29. In my mouth: my tongue and teeth, saliva?
30. In my head: this survey. i'm concentrating ok.
31. Wishing: GO JAPAN!!! =(=(
32. After this: i'll do something else. not decided yet. maybe watch dramas.
33. Talking to: sigh no one. the last person i spoke to was my brother which was last night. long time ago.
34. Eating: nothing, oh yah, maybe i'll go eat breakfast after this.
35. Do you like candles: ... for birthday? yes
36. Do you like hot wax: no. for wad?
37. Do you like incense: no. it makes my cry.
38. Do you like the taste of blood: never really tasted, but my impression is that blood is bitter, so i don't like. who likes bitter stuff?
40. If you could murder anyone and get away with it: i don't even know enough ppl for me to think of someone for me to murder.
41. Person you wish you could be with right now: all the japanese around me. (ie be in japan!!)
42. What/Who is next to you: no one, never.
43. What do you want done with your body when you die: cremated of course.
44. Do you believe in love: yah, but i'm starting to lose faith.
45. Do you believe in soul mates: not really, cuz i don't know what's that.
46. Do you believe in love at first sight: dunno?
47. Do you believe in Heaven: no.
48. Do you believe in forgiveness: yes. forgive me!!
49. Do you believe in God: no.
50. What's something that you wish people would understand: nothing really.
51. What's something you wish you could understand better: why am i so sad. why can't i go japan now.
52. What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow: that i'll wake up in japan.

テルテル坊主

2006-01-13T18:40:00.000+08:00

今日は久しぶりに晴れだったな・・なんか気持ちいい。けど、今日はさほどいい日じゃなかった。この前、在シンガポール大使館のStudy Councellorとメールをやり取りしたので、今日あそこへ参りますと言ったということで、朝１１時ごろ大使館に着いた。初めてですが、ちょっとびっくりしました。大使館ってったら、大したもんだから、少なくともビルが大きいって思い浮かべるけれど、案外小さかった。

とにかく、大使館に入った。そして、Japan information and cultural centreっていう名の部屋みたいな場所に入ると、背後だけ見えたけど、一人の女性が座っていて雑誌を読んでいる姿を見た。そして、迷っていたら、その女性が立ち上がって、ぺらぺらに英語で尋ねた。「Looking for the councellor?]って。そして、はいと答えて、また「That's me.]って返事された。その人だって知らなかったので、少しびっくりした。

色々質問して、そして、情報もたくさんいただいた。それから残酷な現実に気づいた。奨学金のことだぁ！ほんとに困るんだなあ・・PSC奨学金はもはや無理だから、EJUを受けて、自分で行く他ならないんだ。本当にしんどいんだなあ・・お金の問題だなあ・・しかも、その一年目にすばらしい成績をとらなきゃ、奨学金がもらえないなんて、信じたくない現実だなあ。まあ、とにかく、頑張らなきゃ・・

Singaporean jokes

2006-01-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Stupid Driver

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one “Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid… you don’t believe?
Let me show you.” and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said “Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes.” to which Ah Beng replied, “Yes Sir! right away!” and rushed off to the showroom.
The rich man turned to his friend and said, “See, I told you he was stupid.” The other rich man said, “That’s nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid.” and he called his driver, Ali. “Ali, go home now and check to see if I’m at home.” to which Ali said, “Yes Sir, right away Sir.” and ran home. “See what I told you? He doesn’t even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here.”
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, “Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and ask me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes….. Doesn’t he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!”Ali replied, “You think he is stupid ah? My boss lagi worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home…. He got hand phone what, can just call up to check lah!!!!”

Two Men & A Lady

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.
Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- They both had the lady TOGETHER.
Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.
Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.- The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.
Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.
Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.
Two Malaysian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The lady ACCUSED the first man of sodomizing the other because she was rejected by both.
Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;- The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.

The Cabinet

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet.
On hearing Mahathirs woes, PM Goh said, “Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet.” Mahathir asked, “Yes, but how do you know that they are able?”
PM Goh replied, “Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence, don’t need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you.” Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out to him, “Hey Tony, come over here.” Tony obediently walked briskly over.
PM Goh asked, “Tell me, Tony, who is your fathers son ?” Tony Tan immediately replied, “Me! Of course.”
PM Goh turned to Mahathir and said, “See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don’t you go back and try.” Mahathir thank PM Goh and left.
Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his deputy, and shot the question at him, “Tell me, Anwar, who is your father’s son ?” Anwar was shocked beyond words and did not know the answer. After a while, he recovered and said, “Boss, let me find out and I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Mahathir, a bit disappointed, agreed, hoping that Anwar will give a good answer tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Anwar was panicking that his boss was testing him. He tried desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but none of them knew the answer. The next morning,he decided to call Bill Clinton for help. Surely the most powerful person in the world must know the answer.
When Bill picked up the phone, Anwar said, “Hello, Bill, can I ask you a question?” Clinton, very busy, replied, “Alright, but it better be good !” Anwar quickly asked, “Tell me, Bill, who is your father’s son ?” Clinton was fuming, “Of course it’s me, you stupid !” and he slammed the phone down.
Satisfied that he’s got the answer, he confidently walked into Mahathir’s office and said, “Boss, I’ve got the answer to your question.” Mahathir, happy that his deputy wasn’t that dumb, said, “So tell me quick, who is your fathers son, Anwar ?”
Anwar confidently replied, “It’s BILL CLINTON !”
Mahathir slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, “No you stupid, it’s TONY TAN !”

Technical Support

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
DESPERATE

***

Reply:
Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 and the worms might cause the program to automatically upgrade itself to Husband 2.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
TECHNICAL SUPPORT

新学期ってか

2006-01-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

一月二日。新学期の始まりのはずなのに、何で俺はここにいるんだ。もう十二年続いて、毎年毎年この日に学校に行くのに、今年は初めて学校行かなくていい。なんか変な感じがする。まあ、別に学校が恋しいか、懐かしいって言うわけでもないけど、ちょっと寂しいっすね。弟でさえ、明日学校へ行く。兄もそうだ。僕はごろごろする予定だ。ところで、思ったとおりだけど、友達は誰一人残されてなかった。皆どっかへ行っちゃった。

やあ、今はまってる歌がある。そうだよ。川嶋あいの「明日への扉」です。素敵な曲だなあ。僕の明日への扉を開いてくれる人いないかな。

Happy New Year~!

2005-12-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! well, not yet... about 59 more minutes. let's see, 2005 passed by in a blink of an eye. Within this year, many things happened. I met new friends, lost old friends, lost new friends, and made newer friends. Of course, I still have some friends who are still there when I need them.. but on the whole, it seems that my friends are always coming and going, simultaneously. So the number of friends i have is at a dynamic equilibrium. (haha)

Looking back, my life seems to be getting sadder every year. Oh maybe it's just now, cuz my whole family, except my younger brother and i, are out. So we are stoning at home, whereas the rest of the world is out at mount faber or sentosa or wherever there are fireworks, or at least, some party and countdown and stuff. I remember two years ago, we were counting down at city hall. den at midnight, we called some of our friends on our handphone list to wish them happy new year. cool. but come to think of it, if i were to do that this year, there will be no one i'll be able to call, cuz in the first place, i'll be with the only friends i have, so the most i'll be able to call like 1 or 2 ppl. I remember those days, where i get sms-es from friends, wishing me happy new year or merry christmas or stuff. and now, it's only one way traffic. and one thing i realized about my handphone, my outbox messages are always more than my inbox messages. hmm i don't know what this means but oh well, just an interesting fact.

I just finished watching music station super live 2005! wow, it was excellent. All the artistes performed well. I especially liked Remirion's konayuki, my first time hearing them sing live. den there was orange range who sang the opening song for bleach, which impressed me too. their rap rox man. and let me see... i enjoyed shuuji to akira's seishun amigo too. Not to forget, endless story by ito yuna, koi no maiahi by ozone (haha!)... oh and i didn't realized B'z can sing so well! oh man, i loved their ocean... and i was hoping they would sing konya tsuki no mieru oka de, and orange range would sing hana. oh and i liked ueto aya too! ahh she can sing! =D

yup.. alright, my 2005 will end here, oh well not really, 22 more minutes. and i guess my 2006 will start at a low note too, from where i left off in 2005. bah. what am i talking about. oh well, but i'm quite certain that my new year in year 2008 will be a super memorable one. i hope!! *prays*

New year resolutions:
1) Be a good friend. (I always had this in my resolutions since sec3 but i never fufiled it before.)
2) Study hard! (even though alevels are over, but i still need to study for my eju! oh well, i doubt i'll have much time to study for it after i enter NS. sigh! what to do!)
3) Be a better brother and son as part of the family!
4) Keep up with my japanese. I'll never let it die! It's my only hope, it's my life!

There you go, happy new year! hope you had an enriching 2005! 2006 will welcome you in another 28 minutes, but sorry i cannot stay till then, so happy new year in advance!

メリークルシマス！

2005-12-27T20:41:00.000+08:00

瞬く間に、一年が過ぎた。またクリスマスがやってきた。後四日で、新年が訪れてくる。っていうことで、僕はもうすぐ１９歳になるんだなあ・・この前寛泰君と話してたんだけど、日本では、若者に大切大切な式があって、更に形式ばったで、テレビにも放送されてるんだとか。それは、皆二十歳になると、もう成人になったゆえに祝うことだ。そういえば、シンガポールにいる男子たちはそんな祝いはできないじゃないかなって思ってた。男性って、二十歳になる頃はだいたい兵役やってるんだろう。そしたら、成人式とかやれないじゃん。だよな、シンガポールの男って成人じゃないんだ。

で、皆のクリスマスはどうだったかな。楽しく過ごせましたように・・僕のクリスマスってさ、ほんとに「クルシマス」だった。まあ、どうせ祝う習慣も無いし、どうでもいい。祝わないから、バイトをやってた。まあ、思ったよりあいていたけどなあ。そして、すっごくばかなことが起こったんだ。クリスマスの日にいつもオーチャードロードを通るバスは臨時通らないことになって、知らずに知らずに、バスストップで十分ぐらい座って待ってた。馬鹿みたいで、僕が乗るバスだけじゃなくて、何のバスでも全然寄ってこないことに気が付かなくて、ずっと待ってた。やっと気づいたときはほんとに、そわそわしてた。しょうがなく、歩いていくしかなかった。幸い、３分だけ遅刻した。罰も何も無くてよかった。クリスマスの悲劇の始まりだっていうか、苦しみの始まりだった。

五日連続働いて、痺れたんだなあ。いろいろ考えてたんだ、この五日。考えに考えたんだけど、きりが無かったけどな。これからはどうするか、この先には何が待ってくれていますかって、見当が付かない。さあさあ、まあ、あと２年か、どこ行くんだって、どこへも行くんだって、２年後、僕の人生の続きの幕が改めて開くから、楽しみにしてるんだ。

dinner!

2005-12-17T09:23:00.000+08:00

久しぶりに日本語の更新だな・・日本語を離れて間もなく一ヶ月になった。この間、知ってる人はいると思うけれど、アルバイトで忙しいの。それより、最近ドラママラソンを走ってるんだ。一気に、ボングウから借りてきた「編集王」っていうドラマを見終えてしまった。原田泰造が主人公を演じてるドラマのことだから、きっと面白いなあって思って借りてみた。まあ、面白かったね。それから、今日本にはやってるドラマも毎週欠かさずに見てる。１リットルの涙、あいのうた、危険な姉貴とかね。後は、ブラザービート、今夜一人のベッドで、花よりだんごなどもダウンロードしてあるんだけど、まだ見る暇は無い。今も、兄の友達に貸してもらった「グッドラック」も拝見中です！
あいのうたと１リットルの涙はもう最終話だから、他のドラマを見始めようと思ってます。じゃあ、ドラママラソン頑張って走りぬけよう！

そういえば、来週はいよいよクリスマスだ！クリスマスってどんな日？ってあいのうたの愛さんが聞いた。それで、片岡さんはこう答えた。「僕らが生きてることを感謝する日」だって。そうかな・・クリスマスってそんな深い意味が孕んでるんだって知らなかった。まあ、毎年と同じだけど、クリスマスには何もしないでぶらぶらする日だ。今年も相変わらず、デートなしだ。けれど、今年はもっと特別なクリスマスを過ごそうと思って、バイトをしたい。クリスマスイブもしたいですが、まあ、今日中で来週の予定を知るから、楽しみ！

クリスマスと言えば、プレゼントをあげることが最初に思い浮かべるかな。僕はクリスマスってったら、プレゼントだ。日本に送るプレゼントを用意しなきゃ、間に合わないから、急がなきゃ。うん、今年も素敵なクリスマスが過ごせますように。

最後に、昨日久しぶりに出席したウエーディングディナーについて話したい。もう何年ぶりか結婚式に出た。前回はたぶん５年前だったかな。そのときは、いつもいつも、Tシャツとジーンズとか、半ズボンを履いて出席したんだけど、今年はもっとフォーマルな服装を着ようと、兄が提案したから、皆が賛成した。そして、初めてフォーマル服装の兄弟同士登場！

立ち姿。

座り姿。

従兄弟たちと。

more photos!

2005-12-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

alright.. here are more photos!hmm i have quite many photos, so i'm just going to upload those which are more special.

when everyone gets sick of seeing everyone else wearing suits, here's something a little different. of course there are others who wore differently from the norm, but i don't know them, so i didn't take photos with them.

hoho look at the two gays up there.

i like her makeup and hair..damn cool!

wow i love her dress, or should i say, gown. i think it's the most beautiful one i saw on that night.

the three prom kings! hahaha, oh well, not really. but he deserved to win (cuz of his performance! =D)

prom night

2005-12-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

woah, prom night is over within a blink of the eye. it was a fun night... and i'm dead tired now. prom night was more of a phototaking session than a dinner. while the performances are going on, everyone was moving all around, taking photos. everyone looked dazzling, pretty and handsome. and when the 'dinner' ended, i realized that it's only the beginning of the night. my class booked a room at ritz carlton (which cost us $400 per night). Thankfully for that, we didn't have to lug our stuff all the way to another hotel, or even worse, home. so after leaving everything our stuff in the room, which was shared by 10 ppl, we went clubbing! okayy it was my first time and i didn't really like it at first, cuz it was so crowded and noisy. but anw, the whole dxo was crowded with rj ppl. practically everyone was there. and ppl started smoking, drinking, getting drunk, and going crazyy. and not forgetting dancing! it was all awkward at first but once we get accustomed to it, it's damn fun dancing! esp when everyone around you goes crazy. but anyway, after that we went back to ritz and some of us were getting high and drunk. they even went to buy more alcohol. after that we watched soccer! where man utd sadly lost to benfica and got kicked out of champions league. and after watching, we played winning eleven! so fun~~ and i got to sleep at 7 plus and woke up at 10, where we started playing winning eleven again. woohoo.. so fun~ and not to forget the view from ritz carlton was magnificent.

so to end off, here are some photos...

my class photo!

nihonjins!!

ureshii

2005-11-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

oh yay i'm so happy todayy!! =D =D =D

anyway it's my first time working the night shift today and it was quite fun. hmm but the restaurant was quite empty todayy.. wonder whyy. and it was my first time picking up calls and taking down delivery orders, albeit without any professional training. i was so afraid i will make so many mistakes, both in the procedures and my japanese. but anyway it was really exciting. hehee... hmm i guess i'm getting used to the job now. for the first two days i was actually quite afraid to go work cuz i'm afraid i'll make mistakes. but now i realized that making mistakes is part of the experience and since i'm working for the experience, i should be glad that i'm making mistakes.

this is really an all-new experience for me as it's my first part-time job. i'm learning much more than i thought i would. it's not just the money, not just the chance to speak jap, but the extra knowledge about jap cuisines that i can't learn elsewhere. it's the experience of being a waiter and serving japanese customers in japanese.

oh well, i still have about 4 more months to enjoy this job before i go to the army! have fun~! =D

kizuna

2005-11-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

long time no post.. i've been busyy these few days. it's a totally different kind of lifestyle now cuz there's no more studying.. and the things i'm busy with are things like... playing and working. talking about work. yesterday was my third day at work. i guess i've kind of gotten used to it now. the first day was terribly terrible. terribly busy... n i was quite afraid of doing stuff lest i do them wrongly. but now it's actually quite fun working. anywayy there's this real nice guy called glen at my working place and he invited me to his birthday party yesterday after work. i was quite surprised cuz i only knew him for like 2,3 days. but anyway i went.and it turned out to be an enriching experience cuz i got to meet different kind of people (all older than me though), and people whom i've never met before. hmmmm at first i felt quite out of place cuz glen is 30 yr old. and apart from me, the youngest person there was 10 years older than me. really amazing. and glen can speak many many many many many languages. and i'm truly impressed cuz he's been to half the world and stayed in japan for 6 years. so yesterday at the party, there were many kinds of people. and it's quite interesting to hear how he got to know them. he got to know his girlfriend through his german class. and there was this japanese whom he got to knoe through his french class. and this japanese, who's called shibata mamoru, is learning chinese now. wow wow wow. and everyone present yesterday was kinda like big shots, ranging from newman magazine chief editor to financial advisors. so anywayy, we started talking abt many many stuff. really interesting. hehh and we stayed till like 3 plus am in the morning before going home. and i'm really really tiredd cuz i played soccer in the morning and i need sleep. ahh...

ゼロから出発

2005-11-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

ああ、なんか僕の人生は改めて生きるっていう感じがするんだ。今日は、ほぼ十年ぐらいも雇われて、同じ家に住んでいたメイドさんの最後の日だ。明日から他のご主人に雇われることになって・・まあ、僕をそのウザくて小さくて幼い子から、今の僕に成長してきたのを、ずっと見ていた彼女のことだから、多かれ少なかれ感謝したいものだね。更に、これからの生活はきっと何かが足りなくてむなしく感じるような日々になるんだろう。う?ん、もう十八歳だから、メイドさんやらお母さんやら誰かに、いつまでも頼り続けるわけには行かないから、もう自立するべきだね。それをわかってながら、心の奥底から、感激な気持ちが溢れてくるよね。もう家族の一員になったみたいだ。これからの生活と言うと、掃除や洗濯や食事などの家事は我々五人家族が順番でやるしかないだろう。うん、できるんだけど、きっと昔の贅沢の生活が懐かしく感じるだろう。

今のね、うちの状況は、なんか見てるドラマ「あいのうた」と同じようだ。あいのうたに出演する愛ちゃん（菅野美穂）は何週間片岡さんのうちに泊まっていて面倒を見てもらったら、ある日、もうこれ以上頼るわけには行かないと、家出した。まあ、それはドラマだけど、通過点はあるんだね。う?ん・・もちろん、僕らを除いて、あといとこさんもきっとメイドさんのことが好きだな。昨日も、いとこさんとメイドさんがお互い抱きしめてぽこぽこ涙を流した。彼女から見ると、きっともっと悲しいと思う。僕らにとって、ただ家族の一人のメイドさんがいなくなるのに対して、彼女から見れば、この馴染んだ家族を離れ、全く別なところに暮らすようになって、全く新しい生活を送るようになったのだ。そもそもシンガポールは彼女の故郷じゃなくて、友人とか親戚とか何一人いない。だから、きっと辛いですね、彼女は。だから、もし僕は涙を流すとすれば、それは僕らがこれから辛くなるっていうような涙じゃなく、彼女のために流すのだ。メイドさん、僕らは本当に感謝しています。これからしばらく会わないと思うから、気をつけて、生活を楽しんでください。この間、お世話になりました。

うわぁ・・悲しい話だったなあ。ｗ
まあ、うれしいことに、火曜日は最後の試験だ。それに・・・明日からバイトを始めること！ああ、ドキドキすると同時にわくわくしてる！楽しみだな！大したへまがないように！

星野亜紀！

2005-11-19T09:31:00.000+08:00

あっ・・最近しょっちゅうバラエティ番組に出てんの。可愛すぎ！ロンドンハーツとネプリーグに初登場した彼女は可愛くてたまんな?い！

星野亜紀ちゃん！

できる子だって・・もう２７歳だから、言動に気をつけましょう！

寂しげな顔！

to be over in a few days

2005-11-14T18:15:00.000+08:00

woah... every paper is so hard it's not surprising anymore. thursday's chem, friday's gp, today's physics. none of them have failed to surprised us, be it kind of questions, format of paper or difficulty level. i wonder wad's going on in cambridge. some ppl say that the number of As for Alevels is getting too ridiculously high, so they want to keep it down. oh well.. i guess we just have to live with it.

actually there's no point in giving us any more time to study, cuz we won't. all of us are already so tired of studying. tomorrow i have chem paper 2, wednesday physics paper 3. and that's abt it! thursday jap listening, friday chem paper1 and next tues jap! yay. and that's the end of As, for me!

on a sadder note, i haven't recieved my enlistment letter yet. heh maybe they exempted me from ns! yay...